The Gift Of Time To Our Kids

Our kids demand both quantity and quality time from us. Most parents fall short of giving time in one or the other. I WAS no exception.

(Photo Credit: TexasFlags)

Many of my girlfriends had confided in me about their inner conflict about the issue of time with their kids. After their maternity leave, they struggled about whether they should be working versus being a stay at home mother. They felt guilty that they would not be there to change their kids’ diapers or to be there to witness their babies’ first steps. However, confronted with the option to have a second income to support a more comfortable lifestyle, they believed that they have little choice but to go back to a full time job. Spending quality time is far more important than quantity time, they reasoned.

Well, my conflict with regards to time is different from theirs. Although I chose to stop working, I could not resolve in my heart about having to give up my cushy job which comes with a nice pay and great perks. Sure I enjoyed being with my kids, but what a huge sacrifice it is in terms of money and personal space, I thought. My girlfriends appeared to be having a better arrangement with their time as they could go off to work and leave all the mindless duties to the caretaker their role as a parent is relegated to playing with their kids when they got home. How wonderful, I mused, to be able to have a working career and be able to balance time with kids.

“At work, you think of the children you have left at home. At home, you think of the work you’ve left unfinished. Such a struggle is unleashed within yourself. Your heart is rent.” — Quote by Golda Meir

Consequently, there were many times when I would be with my kids but my mind would be somewhere else. I would often be lost in my own thoughts, thinking about 1,001 other things that I have to do or rather do. On a few occasions, I would also resent the fact that my kids take up too much of my time, leaving me with little opportunity to do much else.

This went on for a long time until a year ago.

Committing To A Conscious Decision

My husband had noted that I was not happy. He sat me down and asked me to think over carefully and to commit fully to the choice I’ve made. It was difficult at first for me. I was indecisive, with both my conscious and subconscious minds tugging at me. After a couple of false attempts, I finally sought for the answers long and deep. I also asked myself what was the purpose of my life, what was my plan at this stage of my life was and what kind of mother I would like to be.

I came upon the realisation that in my heart of hearts, I really wanted to spend time with my kids. I wanted to be there when they fall. I wanted to be able to tuck them into bed every night. I wanted to fill their days with wonderful memories of beach outings, walks in the parks and painting butterflies on rainy afternoons at home.

What I did not want to give up was the chance to bond with them. I wanted them to know that they could find me whenever they needed me. Going back to work might mean less time to build the bridges of communication that could only be made during the small window of opportunity – while they were young.

“Lost, yesterday, somewhere between sunrise and sunset, two golden hours, each set with sixty diamond minutes. No reward is offered, for they are gone forever.”— Horace Mann

My Deeper Insights

Then amazingly, during a couple of my meditation sessions, I got messages over and over again, affirming that it is through my kids, that I’m experiencing abundance. The messages were beautifully and clearly communicated to me in various surreal experiences. Each time, my tears flowed in the knowing that the opportunity to spend time with my kids is the intention that my consciousness has sought for, even before they were born.

To go against this intention will be going against the inner desires of my soul Being.

This insight had risen because my consciousness had sought for understanding and awareness at a deeper level.

“While we try to teach our children all about life,
Our children teach us what life is all about.”
— Angela Schwindt

With this knowing, I began to experience a shift in my whole Being when I’m with my kids. I now feel grateful for the opportunity given to me to spend both quantity and quality time with them. I am in deeper appreciation of them and their unique personalities. I feel truly blessed to have gotten what I’ve asked for: the experience of a love that knows no boundaries. It is now my intent to spend my time not wishing that I am somewhere else but to be in present moment awareness with them.

I am finally in Greater Peace with Time.

What Can You Do For Your Kids Today

Loving your kids is to give the gift of time: Quality In Each Moment. If you’re working full time, then don’t put yourself in pain and worry over not being with your kids who are at home. Instead, give yourself fully to every minute with your kids, when you’re home from the office. If you’re a stay-at-home parent, learn from what I have to say from this article.

Here is what you can start with today:

1. Write a love note. Kids love mail. A simple, quick and easy way to show your child you love him or her is to write a love note. A message as simple as “I love you!” or “Hope you have a wonderful day at school today!” will not take more than 2 minutes to write.

2. Ask about their day. Kids love to talk to their parents about their day. When school is in session, they love sharing what they learned. It is important to build strong communication lines, especially when they are still young. You cannot expect them to want to talk to you after they are in their teens or older, if you have not engaged in idle conversation with them for so many years.

3. Stop always being in a rush for time. Make a surprise detour for the park or the beach or the ice cream parlor! It is one more memory to keep!

Finally, watch this inspirational move here. May it move you to tears, as it had done for me.

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