“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” – Buddha

An important core teaching in Buddhism is self-love. Buddha teaches that you love the self before extending the love to others. In other words, before you are able to be a love luminary, you must have the capacity to embrace yourself fully. Today being Vesak Day, let’s celebrate Buddha’s teachings about love.

Buddha observes, “you can travel around the world to search for someone more lovable than yourself, and yet that person is never to be found.” In other words, the search is not external but internal. You first find it from within. To love the self is to be in continuous connection with your true essence. You learn to accept, appreciate and affirm who you are.

Unconditional love and compassion are divine qualities of your intrinsic nature. When you connect from the inside, you experience the unfolding of wisdom. An inability to experience true self-love leads to love as something conditional. You love yourself if and only if you fulfill a certain expectation of the self. Your love for others also becomes conditional. Clouded by filters and perceptions, the ability for true knowing of the self and others become lacking.

Self-realization is key. This means that you are to awaken into love on an experiential basis. You are to actualize it with your own experiencing. As it has been often pointed out, “the finger pointing to the moon is not the moon”. All in, Buddha’s teachings involve an existential approach, rather than through fuzzy understanding via a religious abstraction.

From self love, you lay the ground for the expression of compassion for others. You tune into the sense of shared humanity. You recognize that others are no different from yourself. Everyone is going through essentially the same pain and sorrow – regardless of the specific packagings of external circumstances. You extend to others what you would extend to the self. By opening your heart, you gain a gentle-yet-powerful connection with all others.

Loving the self enhances your ability to send metta, generating energy that is real, pure and transformative. Many Buddhists practice the sending of metta in their prayers. The Buddha shares insightfully, “”Hatred can never be ceased by hatred; it is ceased by love alone.”

Metta is the radiation of loving kindness towards all beings. The wish is this: may all beings be well and happy. True metta is a warm feeling of generosity, compassion, abundance and love that extends beyond all human-imposed boundaries (such as political, racial, social and gender barriers and the divide between human and all other things).

Love is a practice. It is something that can be worked upon. The more you practice, the greater your ability to love and be compassionate. Buddha encourages you to share your light, “Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.”

Prayer of Metta

Vesak Day commemorates the birth and enlightenment of Buddha and his entry into Nirvana. It is a day of chanting, praying, meditating and giving alms to the poor and needy. In Singapore, Vesak Day is a public holiday where thousands of devotees will gather at the temples. Celebrations usually culminate with a candlelight procession.

It is believed that good deeds made on Vesak will earn merits multiple times over. Whether this is true or not, let’s take the opportunity to send loving-kindness wishes to everyone. Here’s my prayer of metta for you who’s reading my post:

May all beings be peaceful.
May all beings be happy.
May all beings be safe.
May all beings awaken to the light of their true nature.
May all beings be free.

Namaste: the divinity in me bows to the divinity in you.

Shine in Self-Love Always,
Evelyn

P.S. Photo taken of the radiant Buddha statue at Kong Meng San Phor Kark See Monastery in Singapore.

(photo by *Suzie*)

I have just come across the story about the cracked pot. It is a popular tale that came from India. I enjoyed it so much that I decided to re-publish it on my site. There is so much meaning to the story! The story is about our sense of self worth. Many of us do not realize how beautiful we are even for all our imperfections. When we look at ourselves in the mirror, we can only see flaws. We practice a lot of self judgement. In fact, in many instances, we judge ourselves more harshly than we judge others. We do not realize that our imperfections are also about who we are and what we bring to the world. If you do not know the story of the cracked pot, here is how it goes….

A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master’s house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his master’s house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfections, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. “I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you.” “Why?” asked the bearer. “What are you ashamed of?” I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master’s house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work and you don’t get full value for your efforts,” the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot and in his compassion he said, “As we return to the master’s house I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path.”

Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure.

The bearer said to the pot, “Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you’ve watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master’s table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house.”

Lessons from The Cracked Pot?

Don’t you find the story beautifully? I most certainly did! What lessons did you draw from it? More discussions to follow in my coming post!