(Photo modified. Original by gesteves)

A customer ran into some computer problems and called the helpdesk for assistance. Here was how the conversation went….

Tech Support: Yes, how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I’ve decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I’m not very technical, but I think I’m ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running ?

Customer: Let’s see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However,you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ?

Customer: I don’t know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, “Error – Program not run on external components.” What should I do?

Tech Support: Don’t worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the “My Heart” directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you, God.

God/Tech Support: You’re Welcome, Anytime.

— Anonymous

Update
I wish to highlight that I received the above freeware from a friend. She had forwarded it in an email which was from someone else. At the end of the story, it was signed “anon”, an abbreviation for “anonymous”. I thought I’d share it as I found it a rather cute way of presenting about self-love.

Freeware to All

Would you like to be the “customer” in the story? Please pass the said freeware to all! And also, include this free Quote Effect Book (click image on the right for download), a collection of 90 inspiring quotes written by bloggers and compiled by Davina from Shades of Crimson.

(Photo by Kathy Zhuang on Flickr)

I was reminded about who Confucius was, while I watched the opening ceremony to the Beijing Olympics 2008 last Friday. Despite the many controversies leading up to the Games, the show had proceeded on. Confucianism was highlighted during a segment of the show, which had a giant scroll unrolling on the ground; taking the audience through the many rich aspects of Chinese culture, history and tradition.

I started to recall some of the Confucius teachings I was taught as a child, during Chinese classes in school. Sad to say, since graduation, I have not read his teachings for a long time as my first language has always been English. I mused what better way to revive my interest into the Chinese classics, than to write an article and share with all my readers? With the Beijing Olympics opening ceremony being such a visual treat, I can’t resist but add more photo images (all credited to Kathy Zhuang on Flickr) to my post today. So here goes…


Who was Confucius?

Confucius (September 28, 551 BC – 479 BC) was a Chinese social philosopher, whose teachings are well known for their emphasis on personal and government morality, family values, correctness of social relationships, justice and sincerity. His thoughts became so popular that they had been developed into a system of philosophy known as Confucianism. Popularity was not confined to China either. It spread to Korea, Japan and Vietnam and was introduced to Europe by Jesuit Matteo Ricci.

In class, we often chanted the term “Confucius Says” just before quoting each saying in Chinese. All in all, he must have made a thousand wise philosophical observations. I am going to pick only 7 for discussion here:

1. Studying Enriches Your Life

Confucius Says “Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.”

Because of his focus on study, Confucius is widely revered as the Greatest Master. Contrary to common beliefs, he was not interested to build a systematic theory of life or develop a formalism of rites. Instead, he inspired his disciples to relentlessly study the outside world, whether members of the poor or elite, and to think deeply for themselves.

Confucius encouraged the love for studying. He had many quotes about learning, telling us that life presents many opportunities for important lessons. He specifically advised not to accept words as they were but to reflect in deep thought for wisdom to arise.

2. Do What You Love

Confucius Says “If you enjoy what you do, you’ll never work another day in your life.”

Would you believe that Confucius was the first (or amongst the first) to encourage you to love what you do? Here was a man who must have enjoyed what he did tremendously, to advise you the same.

There is every bit of truth in this saying. Since you spend most of your waking hours working, it will be a pity that you do not love what you are doing. I would further add to this saying: You can expect to shine, only when you begin to feel alive! Alive-ness grows out of Being in Love!

3. Start To Take Action With A Single Step

Confucious Says “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

In my last post on Walk on Water with 7 Magic Stones, I also mentioned this point about taking action. We cannot begin a journey if we do not even take the first step.

This saying is about commitment too. We are not truly committed until we prove it in actions. Remember the quote “Action speaks louder than words”? So if you have been wanting to do something for the longest time, do not wait to take actions. With the very first step you make, it becomes easier to take the second, then the third, and the fourth and so on.

4. Pick Yourself Up Every time You Fall.

Confucius Says “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”

Fear can stop you from ever trying. You start to imagine the worst and predict that you are going to fail even before you start. However, fear is limiting. It stops you from being great or becoming the success that you deserve. Hence, do not allow your fears and worries obstruct your way. Instead, demonstrate every courage in pursuing your dreams.

Still, there may be times when things go astray, even while you hope for the best or ask for divine guidance. You begin to fall. Well, instead of staying on the ground, show tenacity. Stand up to the test. Your turning points are those whereby you learn to pick yourself up against all adversities.

5. Learn Appropriately From Others

Confucius Says “When we see men of worth, we should think of equaling them; when we see men of a contrary character, we should turn inward and examine ourselves.”

We learn by modeling. We look up to others, not because they are wealthy or good looking but more so, by the values they uphold. Confucius defined the values as “gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness and kindness”. Regardless, it will be a good idea to decide for yourself what values you wish to emulate and who you can learn from. Having a good role model can inspire you to better yourself.

Of greater significance is the second part of the above saying. When we are confronted with a person who does not uphold good values, what do we often do? We criticize. We mock. We disrespect. Yet, in doing so, we forget to look at ourselves.

6. Do What Your Heart Tells You To

Confucius Says “If, when you look into your own heart, you find nothing wrong there, what is there to worry about, what is there to fear?”

If you are motivated by pure intentions, then there is really nothing to worry about. Your conscience is clear. You need not fear unnecessarily for you have intended well.

Still, there is no denying that even with good intentions, things may not happen as expected. If your actions inadvertently resulted in mistakes, they are known as foolish actions and not as actions borne out of ill will. Remember: There are no marks awarded for self punishment or harsh judgement!

7. Let Go Of Past Hurts

Confucius Says “To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.”

If someone has done you wrong, do you forgive and let go or do you hang on your hurt? Unfortunately, many of us choose to grieve over the wrongdoing and stubbornly cling on to it. What you perhaps do not realise is that holding on the hurt closes your heart. It does not allow you to love completely. You are just storing anger inside.

I cannot proclaim letting go to be an easy process, especially if you say that the act is a major crime committed against you. The only solution I can offer, in this instance, is that it is best you release your hurt and anger by EFT or the Sedona Method. You do not even need to confront the other party if you don’t want to. With the release, you will be in a much better position to move on.

People Have Come From Afar; How Happy We Are

I sat glued to my TV set last Friday. The opening ceremony to the Beijing Games was awesome! The show was a huge display of China’s historic achievements and success; in a brilliance of lights, sound and color.

In addition to the usual Olympic motto (“One World. One Dream”), the show highlighted one of Confucius sayings: People have come from afar; how happy we are. While we might not have agreed with everything that China has done in the run-up to the Games, the message was clear that night: China wanted to be friends with the world.

There is hope yet for greater world peace and freedom. Let’s also not forget that essentially – We Are One!

I have compiled a list on “how to love yourself” for readers who are facing difficulty knowing what to do in embracing themselves. When I first began to be aware that I need to love myself first prior to developing any meaningful relationships with others, I realized that I did not know where to start.

This was a surprise to me then as I would have thought I’d be an expert on love and relationships by then. After all, as I recalled, in my younger days, I have spent much time looking for the best spouse or romantic partner. But I soon realized that my search was meant to fill the void or emptiness I had inside. Finding a good relationship with myself seemed to be an even harder task! However, as things turned out, I found myself failing miserably in my early relationships because I had insufficient or little self love.

I have found that self-esteem and self-love are issues that are often related together. If you suffer from low self esteem, it is possible that the the root cause is a case of insufficient self-love. And so, you have found it difficult to find that little bit of love for yourself. Loving yourself feels unnatural for a start because your mind has been ingrained with self sabotaging thoughts for the longest time.

However, nothing is going to happen if you do not make a conscious decision. And that includes attracting abundance. When you don’t love yourself, you are basically telling the Universe that you are unworthy or undeserving of any love or positive outcomes that have the same vibrational match as love.

Learning to love yourself starts with making a conscious decision, an intention to become happy and lead a fulfilled life. When you do not love yourself and suffer from low self esteem, it is almost impossible to ever reach the potential that you suspect you have.

“Love yourself first and everything falls into line.”
Lucille Ball quotes (American radio and motion-picture actress and comedy star, 1911-1989)

When you make a decision to love yourself, you are really saying that you want to come alive. You accept that you are responsible for the outcomes that you experience in your life and would like yourself to shine from living a fulfilling life.

So if you’ve decided on loving yourself but are as equally stumped on how to love yourself, as I was back then, here are 17 ways which I believe can be helpful:

1. Fall in love with yourself. Think about what makes you You. Just like a flower that needs watering to grow, learn to nurture yourself in every way. Love yourself for all the good that you see and accept your flaws and the fact that you are imperfect. This does not mean that you do not learn to change from your shortcomings; instead, you are being gentle and kind to yourself despite all your “flaws”. Look in the mirror and fall in love with the reflection that is You.

“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”
Oscar Wilde quotes (Irish Poet, Novelist, Dramatist and Critic, 1854-1900)

2. Eliminate Self Criticism. Do you often berate yourself over the tiniest thing? Is there a little voice inside your head that often tells you that you are no good because you are stupid or make mistakes. If you find that you criticize yourself often, make an effort to stop the self criticism.

“I CAN is 100 times more important than IQ.” — unknown

3. Be Kind And Positive. When you start to think kindly and positively about yourself, the love you have for yourself just grows. Make it a habit to praise yourself everyday, while in the front of the mirror. Because of such thoughts, you naturally undertake empowering actions that support your development.

4. Acknowledge Your Effort. It is not always about winning or coming up tops in everything that you do. Many times, it is the effort that counts! Acknowledge that you have done your best, even if you have failed to produce tangible results.

5. Let Go Of Worry. Loving yourself requires you to let go of your worry. It is a horrible way to live a life filled with constant worrying. I can attest to that! Worry does not help in any way. It cannot, on its own, make things happen. Only wise actions can! So instead of worrying, spend time thinking about what you can do to help in the situation. If the situation is beyond your control, then make a request to the Universe/God about what you want. Next, surrender your outcome.

“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.” — Epictetus quotes (Greek philosopher associated with the Stoics, AD 55-c.135)

6. Trust Yourself. Have confidence in your abilities. Know that you have the ability to make important changes for yourself, for as long as you put your heart to it. You can also support yourself by visualizing desired outcomes.

“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.”
Benjamin Spock quotes (American Pediatrician and Author, 1903-1998)

7. Forgive Yourself. If you have made mistakes in the past that had caused you to feel less worthy, then you need to forgive yourself. All of us make mistakes; so there really is no need to beat yourself up over them. Also, if you have been carrying around a baggage of emotional hurt because of a childhood trauma, learn to forgive yourself.

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
Lewis B. Smedes quotes

8. Be Truthful To Yourself. Loving yourself requires you to be truthful about your own feelings. If you are happy, acknowledge the joy. If you are sad, acknowledge the sorrow. When you are truthful about your feelings, you do not try to lie to yourself or seek to bury your negative emotions. Instead, acknowledging what you feel provides a good guide to what your thoughts are. And as we all know, thoughts can be changed, so that healing and self growth can take place.

9. Grow Spiritually. When you spend time growing spiritually, loving yourself becomes automatic. You become more peaceful, connected, kind, loving and compassionate. You nurture a mind that grows more beautiful by the day. You naturally love yourself in the process.

10. Make Positive Affirmations Everyday. Reframe your mind with positive affirmations. For instance, say this to yourself “I love and accept myself completely and unconditionally.” Read your affirmations out loud several times a day.

11. Express Gratitude. Express gratitude for the person that you are. For instance, cultivate an appreciation for your strengths and gifts. Also, feel a sense of gratitude that you are alive and well, and fully capable of making a difference in your life.

12. Nurture Your Dreams. Why deny yourself your dreams? When you nurture your dreams, you would love the life that you are leading. Every moment that you live is a joy because you are expressing yourself fully.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. —Mark Twain

13. Boost Your Self Confidence. Make a deliberate attempt to look for opportunities that can help improve your confidence. For instance, if you are particularly good at doing something, set aside more time to indulge and improve your skills on it. Knowing that you have particular gifts can boost your self esteem.

14. Relax. Give yourself space to take breaks every now and then. If you spend your time working, without paying attention to your health, it also means that you do not love yourself well enough to take care of your own body. Fill your time with silence, soothing music and visions of beauty; anything that nourishes your Soul.

15. Have Fun. Inject some fun into your life. Life is meant to be an enjoyable. Don’t take life or yourself too seriously. If you can think of life in this manner, you automatically relax and quit worrying over things that do not matter.

16. Look After Your Body. It is important that you strengthen yourself with proper nutrition and regular exercise. Your body is a temple and you should treat it with respect, love and care. It has been found that the lack of self love is often the root causes of conditions like eating disorders, obesity or even terminal diseases.

“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.”
Jim Rohn quotes (American Speaker and Author. He is famous for motivational audio programs for Business and Life. )

17. Learn To See Beauty. When you learn to see beauty in every thing, you will also see beauty in yourself. Hence, stop to smell the flowers. Notice everything. Feel everything. The pink blush of the flowers in your garden, the greenness of the plains, the whisper of the gentle wind, or the myriad hues of an evening sky.

Here is a good affirmation to read and reflect on…..

“I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it — I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes.

Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know — but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me.

However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.

I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay.”
Denis2005 Virginia Satir quotes (American Psychologist and Educator, 1916-1988)

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Update News: Self-Love Secrets Book

I have written a book, Self-Love Secrets, arising from email questions written to me as a result of this post. If you are having self-love or self-esteem issues, do check out my book –
Click Here for Instant Download of Self-Love Secrets

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