(photo by frield)

In the previous post, I use the metaphor of the mask to illustrate the dangers of identifying too closely with our masks. Problems arise when you think you are the mask. In reality, your mask is not you. Your mask is just something that you wear that covers who you really are. When you lose the mask, it feels as if you are losing yourself. You may even resist the process. The losing of yourself is an illusion. When you start on a journey for self discovery, you will find that what you are really losing is your ego or form identification.


What is Form Identity

Mostly, you have derived your identity through form. Ego is form-identification. Your ego- or form-identification is not by material things and objects alone. If you have a voice that does not stop speaking in your head, and you are completely absorbed in your thoughts and emotions that arise from them, you are already gripped by ego. Hence, it is possible that you identify yourself by your incessant stream of thoughts.

Your ego is vested in the “I am”. It chooses to anchor itself with labels. It identifies with the thoughts “I am gorgeous”, “I am successful”, “I am good” and “I am right”. Unfortunately, who you are cannot be known through thinking. Who you are comes from an awakened consciousness.

Your form-identity has been conditioned largely. Conditioning took place as soon as you were born. You also adopted behavior and thought patterns that have been handed down over generations. Many of these belief patterns arose largely out of fear. You accepted them as truth, since they came out of collective consciousness. You never found any reasons to examine them until now. You only decide to seek for answers when you realize that you have not truly been happy.

The ego needs to cling on to a form identity. Without form, it cannot survive. Even spiritual seekers may also fall into the trap of form identification. They give up one form for another. It happens when they now identify themselves as a spiritual guru of some sort. The truly enlightened never declare themselves to be enlightened, preach that their way is the only way or that they are the only ones channeling God.

Lose Your Form Identity

Your form identity is bolstered by the following actions:

- Seeking attention to your problems without regard for others.
- Being melodramatic.
- Emphasizing external appearances of good looks, status, physical strength, qualifications.
- Taking things personally.
- Drawing unnecessary attention to yourself.
- Judging others.
- Frustrated that others are wrong (and that you are right).
- Appearing more important than others.

A good exercise is to list down all our hangups, behavioral patterns and the stories in our head. Then, let each of them go one-by-one. Tune into what happens next. Can you still find yourself without these identifications?

Instead of brushing things aside by thinking that “this is who I am” or that “I have always been like this”, consider asking yourself What-if questions. What if you show a little more care and consideration for others? What if the other party is right and you are wrong? What if your version of truth is not really the truth? What if your friend has an even bigger problem than your petty complaints? What if you are not your reactions?

Awakened Consciousness

Space consciousness arises when you lose the need to identify yourself in form identity. Space consciousness is also stillness. Stillness is formless. It is consciousness without thinking. Stillness is usually attained in the state of meditation.

You are free of your thoughts. You are in the space with no thoughts but completely aware. You are not asleep.

It is said that as you increase this space, you will find yourself.

Unconditioned. Formless. Eternal.

My Notes

Today’s post is part of a series of articles on self discovery based on my personal journey. I have resisted in letting many of my masks go. I have shed tears while they disintegrated before my eyes. I decided to write this series because of the many emails that I have been receiving, requesting for assistance on “how to love myself”. Without losing my ego-attachments some time back, I would not be experiencing the peace, joy and light that I am today.

This article sounds zen-like? Well, self discovery is not an end destination. It is very much a journey. I have been immersing myself in Eckhart Tolle’s audios to further my practice and deepen spiritual understanding. Although I have been trying my best to keep my awareness up, I don’t always succeed. But what is interesting to me is that I am more and more able to catch my ego in action.

Share Your Suggestions

If you have got tips that have helped you in finding yourself, do share them. Let us all learn from each other.

Peace,