Parenting as I really want to is so hard when life keeps me running!

I came to your blog through Monica over at Healthy Green Moms and will be back for sure!

Cheers!

@Glenn, my daughter was really really scared. On the contrary, I don’t consider it a small matter. I would like her to enjoy going to school. Having a safe environment is important for learning to take place at its best. Also having done so much healing work, I have the benefit of hindsight; knowing how things like fearing teachers can create deep emotional impact in years to come.

Cheers,
Glen

I second the idea of practicing loving kindness to our kids as well. The challenge is to balance it with a degree of firmness when guiding them to take wise actions and behavior. Not always easy to practice because we, as parents, can get hung up with our own ego and emotions. As mentioned in my post, a level of self awareness will be helpful.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts,
Evelyn

My model of “success” for my kids is not quite conventional. In terms of doing, what I am really hoping to do is to harness their natural abilities and yet giving them opportunities to explore other areas. In terms of being, I am hoping that they’d grow up with the right values.

Your account of having tried everything is refreshingly honest. I’ve tried all kinds of ways myself. We feel our way around to get to what’s workable. What’s workable may not be the best but in the light of everything, it is most appropriate. Also, what has worked for some other family may not necessarily be the case for us.

I think what we can all agree to, however, is that fear is not a good thing to instill in our kids. I’d like to move away from that, as much as I can.

How “best” to guide our kids will always be us, ever since we gamely stepped into the role of parenting. It appears to me that you’re already doing a great job. I wish you continued wisdom, insight and much joy in the days ahead!

Have a great weekend,
Evelyn

@Marelisa, you know I used to be unable to imagine that too. Then, when I started having my own, I realized how sometimes it might be possible to lose that moment of sanity. Kids have ways of “testing out” our buttons. With an awareness, we will understand that they are here to teach as much as to be guided by us.

@Jannie, I seriously don’t think it is a school-wide policy. I’m still monitoring how my daughter is doing and will not hesitate to do something if called for. You’ve done well to break that cycle of physical abuse. I’m so happy to know that!!

Introducing humor is a good way to break up a tense moment. Still, if warranted, I will want to make sure that my kids know that they have not acted properly or have misbehaved.

@Davina, I think sometimes we also forget that we were once kids. We become anxious over the “need” that they project good behavior. We really want the best for our kids. But some letting go and as Jannie said, some humor is a great way to take things less seriously. Discernment helps in distinguishing when we pursue things and when we, as parents, loosen up.

They model behaviors that they do not want their kids to do and then they get upset at them. The instil fear as a way of control and then wonder why the kids act out. And so much more where these types of tactics are concerned.

Love and compassion above all else should be our focus when it comes to our children and no, against contrary belief they will not grow up wild and crazy. They will instead feel what feels natural and where they came from (where we all came from) – the place of love!

You are such a thoughtful and caring parent – and I really believe that’s a reflection on just who you are as a person. I think what you’re doing with your kids is really setting them up for success themselves, in whatever the future holds.

There is no “perfect” way to parent. We’ve tried timeouts. We’ve tried taking things away. We’ve tried writing assignments – writing an apology for a wrong, and more. And what seems right one day – well, a year from now – might not. Parenting is a journey…

I’m a big proponent of not spanking – it seems like a way to promote violence as an acceptable thing. And I’m not sure that’s what I want my children thinking…

This is a wonderful post Evelyn, and it has me thinking as I leave today, what really is “best” for me right now…