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How to Spot 10 Warning Signs of Narcissism in Your Partner

by Evelyn on May 6, 2013

“Unconscious people – and many remain unconscious, trapped in their egos throughout their lives – will quickly tell you who they are: their name, their occupation, their personal history, the shape or state of their body, and whatever else they identify with.” – Eckhart Tolle

Someone with signs of narcissism is described as extremely self-centered. The narcissist is predominantly preoccupied with thoughts of “I, me, myself or mine”. Egoistical, he (or she) strives to be in a superior position. What differentiates narcissism from other forms of behavior is sadism. The narcissist tends to disparage and belittle others.

Like many other conditions, narcissism occurs in a spectrum. At its most extreme, it is known as Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This article covers content that pertains to individuals with narcissistic tendencies. For an accurate diagnosis, please consult with a trained mental health professional.

I was speaking to a client the other day. Michelle (pseudonym) has been feeling rather battered by her husband. From her descriptions, it appears that her husband is someone who has narcissistic traits. Of course, her sense of self-worth and self-love were not high to begin with.

Michelle is oppressed by her husband’s dominating behavior. It has taken her some years to see that she is in a toxic relationship. She only realized how unhappy she has been after being married for more than 7 years.

So while I am not a psychotherapist, I thought I would touch on the topic for readers who are in an unhealthy relationship with a guy. My interest is piqued as I suspect that I might have in the past, dated a few guys with an inferiority complex and who could have narcissistic traits too. I did some research to find out the common behavioral patterns.

Your Relationship With a Partner with Narcissist Traits

Without awareness, we may not recognize the signs. A guy with narcissistic tendencies is often very charismatic. You are not able to resist him. He is charming, successful and appears to have it all. At first, we are drawn to his winning “confidence”. He shares wondrous stories about being the hero, savior and knight in shining amour. Lapping up his wily stories, we come away impressed.

What we may not realize is that the narcissist is mostly of empty talk. His stories are grandiose. He desires to appear big. He seeks for approval and needs fans to constantly build him up.

It can be energy-depleting to be near a narcissist for long. Because he puts his needs first, you have to give in all the time. He is great at manipulation. Sometimes, it can feel as if you need to walk on eggshells around him. He throws a fit when he realizes that he is not the center of attention.

Learn to spot signs of narcissism. It helps to be aware of the challenges involved from being in a relationship with someone with such tendencies. So if you are dating one, you need to consider carefully.

It can be hard for anyone else to make the narcissist change his selfish ways, not unless he attains awareness himself. He is not likely to want to work on his issues since he perceives that he is not at fault. Sadly, a narcissist is very good with pushing blame to the people around.

How to Spot A Narcissist

You really want to be lookout on the following narcissistic traits: vain, egoistical and selfish.

Here are 10 warning signs on what the above description translates to:

1. His needs come first. You have to plan your life around his.

2. He takes more than he gives. You now realize that his show of attention on you at one stage was pretense. The honeymoon period did not last very long.

3. He talks about himself all the time. You can barely get a word in about your needs, concerns and ideas.

4. He can be manipulative, abusive and controlling. Your voice is reduced to a whimper around him.

5. He belittles you constantly. Your sense of self-worth has been shredded to pieces repeatedly.

6. He has lack of empathy for others. He is insensitive towards the feelings of his loved ones, including yours.

7. He strives to ensure that his stories of accomplishment are forever etched in your mind. You have heard the same overblown stories that happened years ago, multiple times.

8. He is always in the right. It is as if he can do no or little wrong. Even when he has a part to play, he will make it seem as if you are to blame. He is a world-class wordsmith.

9. He has trouble committing to a relationship. You have to give in to his demands for space; but you have to be on his beck and call.

10. His negative reactions are often excessive in relation to the issue. You are taken aback by his rage and punishing ways towards you.

What to Do Next

A guy with narcissistic traits usually bids his time before he shows his true colors. He knows how to make you feel on top of the world. For a while, you can be deceived into thinking he is your long lost soul mate.

However, once you spot a sign or two as described above, start to make more detailed observations about his behavior. If there are more than three ticks to the above signs, he could be leaning towards narcissistic tendencies. Hence, avoid being in a rush to commit into a relationship. Instead, tune in to your intuition and find out if there is any discomfort that you are experiencing.

If you are already in a relationship with one, you can possibly find it hard to persuade him to go for therapy. By all means, try but don’t get your hopes too high. He is likely to believe that you are the one with the problem, not him. A consideration on how best to handle the relationship and what to do next may become necessary. As mentioned, you may wish to consult professional advice, in cases of trauma.

Under all circumstances, you must not lose self-respect.

Always love yourself and uphold healthy self-esteem.

Definitely, seek assistance if you find that you are stuck or in repeated patterns of unhealthy relationships.

Love and Abundance Always,

evelyn lim signature

Life Coach. Energy Healing Practitioner.

Related article: How to Handle Toxic Relationships

Share Your Story

Know anyone with narcissistic traits? Do share your thoughts or story about narcissism in the comments below.

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{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }

Clive May 6, 2013 at 6:37 pm

Thank you for the article. This is valuable information.

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Evelyn Reply:

Hello Clive,

Thank you for your feedback!

Love and blessings,
Evelyn

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sam May 6, 2013 at 7:26 pm

Thanks for the post.

People with Narcissistic traits can be so destructive to relationships and the people around them. The sad thing is they really don’t feel empathy like healthy people, so they simply don’t understand (or care) about how their actions effect others. It takes a lot of healing coming out of a toxic relationship with a narcissistic partner, its a long journey.

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Evelyn Reply:

Hello Sam,

It is sad. So what is left to do is for us to take charge.

It may seem that it can take a long time but I believe that healing can take place at a faster rate from using energy tools. What is important is to shift the energy. A rising of consciousness helps.

Love and blessings,
Blessings

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Kristin May 6, 2013 at 7:51 pm

This describes my ex to a T. He proves it with every conversation we have in which he blames me and acts like I’m the predator. He won’t take fault for a single thing. I feel like I took the steps necessary to protect myself, but he certainly doesn’t see it that way. In his eyes I’m the awful one. I don’t think he’s affected my self-worth; however, I’ve had to take a step back from the situation and make some changes to myself in order to ensure someone like him – another narcissistic sociopath – doesn’t enter my life. I don’t know if they’re all bad, but my ex is downright horrible! Never again! He has never truly cared about me and I know he never will, and I’m okay with that. I’ve moved on (though he tried to use that against me too; everything I say or do is a weapon in his eyes, though he fails to realize he’ll never win with me).

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Evelyn Reply:

Hello Kristin,

Thank you for sharing your story. It’s great that you have validated what I have shared in this post.

It is also awesome that you have enough self-worth to be able to protect yourself. Kudos to you for being able to stand apart to assess the situation carefully. It took a long time for those I know to be able to do that. They were caught in the cycle of guilt and self-blame and were not able to realize what was happening to them. Gradually, they lose their sense of self.

It’s wonderful that you have moved on. May your journey be a blessed one. I wish you much joy and happiness.

Love and abundance always,
Evelyn

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April May 6, 2013 at 7:52 pm

Thank you for the article, I agree with Sam, once you leave a narcissistic partner it is a long journey to heal. The journey is worth it and I would encourage everyone to take steps to heal yourself. You are worth it, no matter what you have been told. I was with a person like this for 28 years and was basically a shell of nothing by the end. I managed the strength to leave after finally awakening to the effect it was having on my children in their early adult lives. Narcissistic people have no regards for anyone but themselves and don’t care who the hurt, even their own children. I’m thankful every day that I moved on, because all of us deserve to be in a healthy relationship. I know if people like you continue to inform us, less people will fall victim to narcississtic personalities.
Thank you.

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Evelyn Reply:

Hello April,

I admire you for your strength and courage to take the steps necessary after 28 years of relationship. It must have not been easy when there are considerations like children. Thank you for sharing that the journey to heal is worth it!

We can each play our part to spread the message of self-love and self-esteem :-) You will be a great inspiration to those who would like to make that move but cannot do so out of fear. Yours is a story of how you have managed to restore yourself back to health despite the difficulties. You can light the way for others too.

Much love and blessings to you,
Evelyn

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Harleena Singh May 6, 2013 at 10:36 pm

Hi Evelyn,

Informative post indeed – I had absolutely no idea that these are the traits of a narcissistic person, and we do find them so similar to a lot of people we know. I guess you need to keep a check on these warning signs and take timely measures.

Thanks for sharing :)

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Evelyn Reply:

Hello Harleena,

Not everyone who has a huge ego is a narcissist. As I have mentioned, what differentiates is the sadism. The narcissist has a way of making his loved ones feel very small. Over time, you become fearful of him, what he may say or do. If you are not mindful and under his influence, your sense of self-worth can get eroded.

Thank you for your feedback :-)

Love and blessings,
Evelyn

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Birdie May 7, 2013 at 2:46 am

The article makes it sound like this is a male trait, there are just as many females with narcissistic traits. As you point your finger at others be sure to check around your own doorstep too.

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Evelyn Reply:

Hello Birdie,

I am pretty sure that there are females with narcissistic traits too.

My guideline is that I write based on personal encounters. As such, virtually all or most of my articles have been written following the guideline. Thus, I have specified in this article that I have written it for the reader who is in a relationship with a guy.

On the other hand, I will be interested to find out what the common traits of a narcissist female are like.

Yup, it is not about pointing fingers. Hence, it is not to fix blame at the individual with narcissistic tendencies. We must learn to take personal responsibility. If others affect us negatively, we must have allowed it to happen in the first place.

Love and blessings,
Evelyn

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Freedom | Rethinking the Dream May 7, 2013 at 3:29 am

We recently came to the realization that my father has some extreme narcissistic tendencies. We’ve always just dealt with it and ignored the bad behavior as best we could. That all changed about a year and a half ago when his behavior began to affect our young daughter.

She was extremely shy, and my father (her grandfather) didn’t like it. He expected to be greeted with a hug and a hello during each visit. He also wanted her to talk to him, but she was unable to do it. I finally had to sit him down for a discussion and tell him that we could no longer tolerate his demands and expectations of my daughter. After our talk he basically treats us as if we no longer exist, and we have mostly severed ties with him.

There’s a lot more that I could say, and I’ve written about it on my blog in a Toxic Grandparent series. Toxic relationships aren’t limited to spouses, it can be any member of the family, and the results can be just as bad.

[Reply]

Evelyn Reply:

Hi there,

Thank you for sharing your story. I was wondering about the effect on the various members of the family too. I am glad that you were able to take a stand. Children who are shy need a lot of encouragement. My children are shy too. I know how important it is to help them overcome their fears.

Love and blessings,
Evelyn

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Angela Artemis|Powered by Intuition May 7, 2013 at 9:05 am

Evelyn,
This is a great topic! I had a relationship with a narcissist. It was the worst time in my life. I’m so glad I finally pulled myself out of that relationship.
Thank you for bringing people’s attention to this important topic.

[Reply]

Evelyn Reply:

Hello Angela,

Oh dear, I didn’t know that. Glad that you are over it now. You have also clearly demonstrated how it is possible to pull yourself out from such a relationship.

Love and blessings,
Evelyn

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Vishnu May 7, 2013 at 3:10 pm

Thanks for covering this topic Evelyn – good note to be on the lookout for with others and good way to keep tabs on ourselves hahaha.

I know the people who talk about themselves ALL the time. Used to wonder if they were just egomaniacs but with the additional characteristics you described, I think I have a better understanding of their personalities and behavior now.

So how do we deal with one besides just running far away from that relationship and suggesting therapy, as you point out.

[Reply]

Evelyn Reply:

Hello Vishnu,

I don’t think there is one solution. The solution of what to do externally will have to depend on the specific circumstance.

But as I have mentioned, in all cases, to be aware of how being in such a relationship is affecting you (in the hypothetical situation that you are the one involved). I recommend using energy healing tools to address your deeper issues. It is probable that you have attracted such a person into your life and that the situation is highlighting that you have a deeper issue of low self-esteem.

Glad to have a chance to make things clearer for you :-)

Love and blessings,
Evelyn

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Joan Harrison May 7, 2013 at 4:21 pm

“As with the six adaptations, everyone’s personality includes the borderline and/or narcissistic structure” p225 Personality Adaptations,Vann Joines & Ian Stewart. The Narcissistic personality requires excessive admiration and this is learned during childhood and as ‘Birdie’ said it can be prevalent in all relationships. The problem can when narcissistic behavior becomes excessive, so whilst we observe people we are in relationships with, it is beneficial to look at the part we play.
I believe that we attract everyone into our life for a reason and it helps to alleviate my own hurt if I understand the lesson they have taught me.

[Reply]

Evelyn Reply:

Hello Joan,

Thank you for sharing. Yes, I got that we have in all of us. But it is the excessive behavior that we need to look out for. I certainly think so too. There is usually a divine lesson to the situation that we are in. If we can look at things with greater wisdom, we are more at peace.

Love and blessings,
Evelyn

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Steve May 9, 2013 at 10:59 pm

Hey Evelyn, this post struck a huge chord with me because I know someone like this. He was only a friend, but he had all of these qualities. Your description is spot-on. The lack of empathy, the self-centeredness, manipulation, the grandiose stories (many of which were embellished to the point of lying).

What I’ve noticed is that you have to be really careful around these types of people. Even the slightest criticism will get them really angry. That goes along with what you said about walking on eggshells.

The guy doesn’t realize he has this problem. In fact, he often pointed the finger at me (and everyone else around him) for his difficulties. It might not surprise you, but I don’t talk to him anymore.

[Reply]

Evelyn Reply:

Hi Steve,

It sure sounds that you have to take extra precaution round your friend, in order not to set him off. It can feel draining after a while. Yes, I am not surprised that you are not speaking to him anymore. Good for you! We do not have to engage and cause ourselves to feel poorly.

Love and blessings,
Evelyn

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Hiten May 10, 2013 at 7:36 pm

Hi Evelyn,

This was a very interesting post on the characteristics of a narcissist guy. As you pointed out, such a person is highly manipulative and is so insecure, he probably doesn’t even realise it.

Thanks for sharing.

[Reply]

Evelyn Reply:

You are welcome, Hiten!

With thanks,
Evelyn

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DeepSand7 May 20, 2013 at 11:55 pm

Evelyn,
Thank you for the information. I just broke it off with a Woman that I thought I knew. We had a previous dating years ago and it was wonderful, and that is what brought me back to her. The 1st 7 months of our relationship was a dream and then reality set in. We saw a movie one night with some of her friends. I did nothing out of the ordinary and we all had a great time. She was quiet in the movie and I asked if there was anything wrong. She said that she was so angry…should wanted to kill me.
I responded with apologies and anything else I could say. She remained mad for 3-4 days. I see now that this was the beginning of it all. I asked her about some lingere that she had in her suitcase that she never wore for me. She told me that I was crazy and it did not exist. And of course she had a sympathy for animals that was off the charts. She asked me for vast sums of money when she found out my net worth. For no reason she would break out in rages and blamed it all on her ex husband. I walked on egg shells for 2 1/2 years. I still love her…but I do know the relationship had to end. I wish her well and pray that she seeks professional help.

[Reply]

Evelyn Reply:

Hi there,

Thank you for sharing your story. It sure does not sound like a healthy relationship if you have to walk on eggshells. Well, it is great that you are aware that it has to end. I wish you and her well too!

Love and abundance always,
Evelyn

[Reply]

Mike May 31, 2013 at 1:56 am

They can be women too. I was married to one. Every descriptive passage in this article uses the pronoun “He.” If it is changed to “they” it would be more accurate.

[Reply]

Evelyn Reply:

Yes, they can be women too. I am aware of this.

At the start of my article, I stated that I was writing the article from having come into contact with narcissistic behavior in men. It is from this perspective that I have written the post.

Mostly, the articles contained on my site come from my thoughts and experiences. I strive to be as authentic as possible in my descriptions.

Thank you for your feedback, nonetheless.

Love and abundance always,
Evelyn

[Reply]

DeeGee June 7, 2013 at 2:00 am

I have learned the hard way to use my selfish ego driven and narcissist friends, men or women for the once in a while “over the top situations”, like birthday parties, new years eve, booty calls, dance clubs, etc. (high ego energy that i don’t care to have) situations. But never real caring relationships, just hit and miss, kiss kiss, superficial fr-enemies or friends w/benefits.

[Reply]

Evelyn Reply:

Your comment had me laughing! It’s great that you know how to manage and handle your various friends and relationships.

Love and abundance always,
Evelyn

[Reply]

Tom Roberts June 18, 2013 at 9:16 am

Why are narcissists portrayed as men in this article?

[Reply]

Evelyn Reply:

I have already explained in my comments above. Narcissists can be women too. I am writing this article from my own encounters – which happen to be men.

With thanks,
Evelyn

[Reply]

Jenn June 20, 2013 at 7:54 pm

Hello!

I’m wondering if maybe you have advice or comfort for me… I have a dear friend who has been I’m a relationship with a narcissistic woman for about 6 months now. He is very much the noble knight personality and she is very good at destroying his mood with sudden and violent accusations of mistreatment and then flipping the switch and whimpering about how terrible a person she is for being so mean. My father is a tried and true narcissist so I recognized the signs right away but my friend love the idea of being able to fix people. Is there anything I can say or do to help him see what her behavior is without looking like I have alterior motives?

[Reply]

lisa Reply:

My narcissist seemed like a really good guy and made it out that it had been all his ex’s problem. She was an angry yelling jealous woman but I heard the pain behind her anger. He threw me in her face as a sugar mamma. By the time I left I felt as raged as she did minus a child and 10 years. He drug me back to feelings I had thought I had overcome. I sided with him at first until I started noticing what he was doing to me. I think I could be with him for years and not recognized his abusiveness had I not be through it before. Before I just did not realize I was with a narcissist. He will always walk away the good guy and the woman is the bitch. Funny thing his last name is Good. Life is such a joke and I am horrified with myself for stepping right back into that kind of situation and getting my heart hurt, when from the beginning I saw warning signs. I would say make sure you really know your friend and if this is a pattern in his relationships, he just might be the problem.

[Reply]

lisa August 12, 2013 at 4:14 am

I met a man, who fits a lot of the signs without the aggressiveness. Sneaky with his phone, immediately was in love, love bombing is what I believe it is called. His come on lines were excellent. Very early on in the relationship he told me he was sick of hearing about my ex’s yet I found out he was still talking to at least two of his. All his contacts were mostly women. I started noticing he was always very aware of every woman”s presence, and had quite a way of subtly flirting that you might not even notice. Just seemed like such a nice helpful guy, but I noticed just a bit too attentive and sincere towards every woman. I am no fool, when I questioned it, of course I was just jealous. He would say things like I got 6 to 12 women who want me, but I only want you. He told me he only got in relationships he believed would last, yet tried to go to bed with me right away. He also carried a to go bag in his vehicle, contact lenses, razor, rubber, ect. I lived in another state and when he took me to the airport he told me, he loved me and would wait for me. I sensed that the reason he said that was he wanted to cement that promise from me. I was home for 3 weeks and found out he had been visiting with another woman. I found out because he thought the call he was answering was from his Buddy who had just told him he would call with his new phone number. He lied to her about where he was and then lied to me about how he knew her. He said she stole his number, then changed the lie to eventually be that I didn’t tell him I loved him when I left, to eventually he just missed female companionship and of course nothing happened. To shorten the story, there just always seemed to be women thrown in my face or ignore me and go to bar or sit out in yard chatting and drinking with buddies. I believe he is an amorous narcissist. He does not physically abuse, nor yell and call you stupid. Most of his ammo seemed to be to make you insecure through being so hot all the women wanted him. Of course he is absolutely innocent and it must just be his hotness. He is 5’8,” not really good looking, on the small side, lives with his mother, and makes 12.00 pr hour and pays child support. I am not sure if he is a narcissist or not because I haven’t seen the aggression. It is all very subtle. I know he abused his Daughter sexually, did not raise his children, doesn’t seem to have had any long term relationships, and moves on to focus on another instantly. I think he is the scariest kind of creep because it is all so subtly done. Do you think he is a narcissist and should I attempt to warn his new victim?

[Reply]

Evelyn Reply:

Hello Lisa,

Thank you for sharing your story.

I can’t say for sure if your description of him fits that of a narcissist. From what I know, narcissists display a subtle – if not obvious – sadistic and manipulative behavior. The guy you have described could just be flirtatious and not truthful. The only way to truly know is to have a professional assessment by a psychologist. That said, the reason why I wrote this article is that many go undetected and it helps to be aware when we are near one.

If you suspect that he is abusing his daughter, are you able to report the situation?

I hope that you’d be able to make a wise decision about how to proceed with regards to this relationship. It does not sound very healthy.

All the best,
Evelyn

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Levon August 15, 2013 at 10:31 pm

Thank you…..however my situation is the other way around. I am a man married to a woman with Narcissism or very close to it. I can check many down the Narcissism check list about her. We have been married for just over a year and it has been the hardest year of my life. When they say the honeymoon is over…its over. Last week she threw a iron at me….yes an iron. She said she was upset because I didn’t talk to her. She did not say she was sorry but blamed the devil for making act that way. It was not her. Its hard too because she is deeply into the church….she acts so nice there and so different at home. I don’t know what to do.

[Reply]

Evelyn Reply:

Hello Levon,

I am sorry to learn about your situation.

Avoid putting yourself in more pain and suffering. I recommend that you seek help quickly. Please call your local hotline and get appropriate assistance.

Take care,
Evelyn

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Henna August 25, 2013 at 1:17 am

Hi… I got married 2.5 years back and in relationship from 6 years. My partner used to abuse alcohol and smoke a lot whenever He used to be angry with me. Later he would put it as my fault since most of the times as per him I was culprit. Infact I agree I used to initiate issues …but his anger n related drama used to be so huge. I many a times wonder is his reaction right for what I did. Last 4-5 months he is not into alcohol abuse etc.. But our fights still happen atleast 2 weekends in a month. He is extremely nice to me whole week. But on weekend if something happens e.g. I ask to Call parents, help in household, waking him up from sleep, me getting upset because he didn’t like some veggies etc for dinner. He gets so angry…he shouts..bangs stuff..car. Sometimes leaves me alone for whole night and he goes n spends time at friends house. When we don’t fight he is gud towards me but on arguement days…he makes me feel guilty of initiating problems..he speaks cuss words…he speaks of depressing stuff..n then I retaliate and even I speak non sense. I always feel he reacts way too much for these things I did. I have also seen that he lacks empathy and he has grand plans for buying stuff like Cars etc…living on 30 th floor so that others look like ants etc. However it is me who talks a lot in our relationship. Also he always tells me during these arguements that how much he is doing for me..which is true. He does lot more work than me. But I dont comparison and also I dont like bringing in old n other old issues in current arguements which he often does. Is this narcissism?

[Reply]

Henna August 25, 2013 at 2:25 am

Hi, I wrote question above regarding my husband…now I am doubting myself!!
1. Feeling of Grandiosity: Often narcissistic people have this false sense of grandiosity wherein they believe in their head that they are superior than everyone else.

2. Fantasies: Most of such women have these explicit and strong fantasies of power, perfect love and extreme beauty regarding self, which makes them feel superior to others.

3. Exclusivity: They have this belief that they are very special and unique and must mix and gel with like minded people and not with just any other person out there.

4. Dominating: This is one of the most common sign to identify these women. They fail to believe that they could go wrong anywhere and always find faults with the other person and impose their opinions forcefully on people around them.

5. Insensitive: These women lack empathy. It gets impossible for them to even think of a situation from any point of view other than their own. She never understands the pain of the other person as she would be so self involved and trying to get things done the way she wants.

6. Abusive: Most of such women are abusive, if not physically then emotionally for sure. They blame the partner for almost everything that happens and put him down all the time, but when he attempts to leave her, she would beg that she still loves him.

7. The Jekyll and Hyde sign: if you notice that at one moment a woman is all sweet and understanding but the very next moment she turns rude and vicious, without much of a reason and this happens repeatedly, there is every chance of her being a narcissist.

8. Craving for attention: Women like attention and admiration by nature, but if it seems to be of an extreme degree that turns demanding also, the woman in question could be a narcissist.

9. Control Freak- Most of such women are major control freaks. They can not tolerate to forego the control of everyone around them and in a bid to do so, they might even resort to manipulation.

10. Arrogance: This is yet another common sign. Arrogance which has no reason or basis and is of extreme degree, such that even minor issues become irksome should be considered a sign.

[Reply]

Henna August 25, 2013 at 2:33 am

I read above article at http://www.islandcrisis.net/10-signs-narcissistic-woman/
And I can identify with grandiosity that is feeling superior to my close friends as i studied more than them… and dominating ..which I feel whenever I am having conversations..I talk a lot. Rest all I don’t identify with.
However I wanna ask u something..I am from India and am from family who has been very hygiene oriented..e.g. Washing hands with soap if u touch shoes or come home from outside or eating food etc etc; similarly I am having strong extended family ties with my uncles, aunts, cousins. I m also vegetarian n like clutter free home. Again I eat whatever is cooked at home by my maid or myself and do not fuss about it.
My problem is when I ask my husband to adopt these value systems except vegetarianism…he gets angry n as I wrote in first post…lot of drama happens.
He says I am dominating. I really want to know am I dominating if I ask to adopt that value system? Am I narcisstic? I m so confused.

[Reply]

Evelyn Reply:

Hello Henna,

As mentioned, I am not a professional psychologist and will not be able to give you or your husband an exact diagnosis. One or two symptoms do not automatically make you or anyone a narcissist. However, one thing is for sure: both of you need help.

Please look for someone trained who can help you with your anger issues and to help improve the relationship with yourself and your husband. Your husband also needs to address his addiction issues as well as your reactions to you.

I wish both of you much love and wellness.

Take care,
Evelyn

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RRM February 1, 2014 at 5:32 am

I can attest to female narcissists being equally damaging and sadistic.

They major difference is that our society tends to look favorably on male narcissism (business, politics, etc) rewarding a take-no-prisoners mind set. Women on the other hand, tend to covert, relying much more on manipulation, feigned naivete, and gaslighting. Overtly aggressive women don’t square well with society so female narcissists tend be experts at feigning social grace.

Most female narcissist tend to be unmasked when they become the perpetual hostile ex in divorce and custody disputes that they drag on unnecessarily for years. Conflict has no end with a narcissist. Sadism and exacting pain is narcissistic supply.

[Reply]

Evelyn Reply:

Hello RRM,

What you have observed is certainly interesting. I am inclined to think so too.

And yes, conflict has no end where there is narcissism. Suffering entails.

Blessings,
Evelyn

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not already. Cheers!

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