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How to Practice Non-Attachment in 7 Ways

by Evelyn on October 4, 2011

Admittedly, non-attachment can be difficult to apply. Some people such as monks dedicate their whole lives to making it a practice. However, this does not mean that renunciation in order to release your “suffering” is necessary for you to practice non-attachment.

Lotus Quote by Sai Baba

In fact, if you continue to use religious disciplines to hold on to your identity, then you are yet on the path of genuine spiritual growth. So long as you are holding on to something such that it causes you grief and pain, you are having an attachment. Your ego is interested in clinging on to some form of identification.

Suffice to say, your natural state is one of peace. Unfortunately, we have been conditioned to expect instant gratification and that we need material possessions or status to feel good about ourselves. Our attachments to a specific outcome – whether it happens or not, how does it happen and whether it happens quickly or not – can cause us to experience much worry, frustration, anger and fear.

The Grasping of the Ego

The more you set yourself up with “I, me and mine”, the more suffering you are going to experience. By grasping, your energy becomes one of “craving”. Life is a constant pursuit of all forms of identification that boost the ego. You deem it important to be in a superior position. Out of equilibrium, you are no longer grounded in contentment. Not surprisingly, you find it hard to be joyful in the here and now; even whilst you are working towards your goals.

If you think about it carefully, you will realize that the object of your desire is neutral. However, what you are expecting is the experience from having the object of your desire. You are essentially looking for happiness. You are hoping for a positive state of experience. However, in your pursuit for “more”, you have shifted away from your current state of equilibrium.

Note that there is nothing wrong with wanting to improve your life. In fact, it is a natural human desire for growth and evolution. The odd thing is that when you practice non-attachment, you end up having more. You are in a positive state of contentment. You are feeling adequate. Your vibrations of “having” go on to attract more of like energy vibrations. Thus, positive outcomes get manifested more easily.

How to Practice Non-Attachment

All said and done, how can you apply non-attachment practically? I have put together a list of 7 ways for your consideration…

1. Focus on the Present. When you are attached to your desire, your mind is in the future. You are worried that whatever you wish for will not come true. However, when you direct your focus to the present, your mind becomes occupied with what can be done right this moment.

2. Give Up The Hows. While you stay focused on the picture of your dream, there is no need to fret over how it is going to happen. Point B, your desired goal, can seem far away from Point A, where you are currently. However, be aware that there can be infinite possibilities between the two points. By not being rigid and staying flexible, you become alert to opportunities that will bring you from point A to B.

3. Refrain From Obsessing Over Numbers. An obsession over numbers can cause you to become attached. If you operate a website, you may just know what I mean. By checking your online traffic or newsletter subscribers repeatedly, you may just find yourself getting hot and bothered from not hitting your targets. Hence, stop being so obsessed over numbers. Refrain from checking your statistics excessively.

4. Adopt The Attitude of Learning. View the manifesting journey as a learning experience. Every challenge that happens is an opportunity for you to learn about getting things in the direction of your desire. Adopting a positive attitude, you are joyful every step of the way. Thus, your happiness is not contingent upon having “arrived” at the destination.

5. Be Okay With Uncertainty. By being attached, you become unwilling to wait for clarity to emerge and events to unfold naturally. Thus, you run the risk of forcing solutions or making a decision prematurely. Non-attachment, on the other hand, accelerates the manifesting process in your favor. Learning to live in uncertainty, you are in a state of awareness. Life becomes exciting in its mystery, possibility and adventure.

6. Practice the Art of Allowing. I first learned about the Art of Allowing as espoused by Abraham Hicks, a group of spiritual beings, and channeled by Esther Hicks. This paragraph sums it all….

“The Art of Allowing is the art of finding my alignment, and therefore, living in joy no matter what’s happening around me. It means: achieving such vibrational alignment with who I am by looking for positive aspects and by making books of appreciation, and by wanting so much to feel good – that I hold myself consistently in vibrational alignment with who-I-really-am.” – Abraham Hicks

The Art of Allowing is about allowing people, things and events as they are – without wanting to fix, change or judge anything. It is about using your emotions as a guide towards feeling better and better.

Ironically, allowing offers space for transformation to occur. It is when successful manifestations take place. If I may add, patience, trust and faith are key ingredients to practice the Art of Allowing. You might also want to read the Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent: Living the Art of Allowing for further insights.

7. Use Energy Release Methods. Personally, I have found energy releasing methods such as Emotional Freedom Technique and The Sedona Method excellent in helping me with issues on attachment. With these issues, it was obvious to me that I was attached but had found it difficult to be non-attached. No matter how I tried to meditate or change my perception of the issue, I still found it tough to be zen-like. However, after applying these techniques, the intensity of my frustrations would reduce. And somehow, my original intents would manifest in a positive way. Yay…to greater freedom!

Wisdom from the Practice of Non-Attachment

Practicing non-attachment can essentially lead to you attaining wisdom. The Bhagavad Gita has this saying,

The awakened sages call a person wise when all his undertakings are free from anxiety about results.

Further to my previous article on The Differences between Attachment, Detachment and Non-Attachment, I scoured the net for some additional resources to aid in increased understanding. I found the following youtube videos….I recommend watching them…

Non-Attachment versus Detachment
If you don’t already know, the interviewer in the video, David Hawkins, is the author to the best-selling book Power vs Force.
Key point: Non-attachment leads to empathy, full participation of life and transcendence of the ego.

The Truth of Non-Attachment
Key point: Non-attachment is where egoistical delusions are absent.

Happiness is no longer an elusive goal that can only be attained contingent on the arrival of an event or outcome sometime in the future. As Abraham Hicks puts it, “Living your life will be an ongoing journey of joy, rather than one of experiencing long dry spells between occasional moments of temporary satisfaction in the achieving of something wanted.”

Love, Peace and Abundance always,

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Author. Adventurer. Life Coach. More About Me.

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Let’s learn from each other. Do share how you have been practicing non-attachment.

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{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }

Lindsay | The Daily Awe October 4, 2011 at 9:57 pm

Evelyn, these are fantastic tips. Thank you. I wanted to let you know that the response you gave me to your last post (after my comment) has helped me immensely. You said just what I needed to hear and that’s really gone a long way in making me practice non-attachment. You’re wonderful!

[Reply]

Evelyn Reply:

Hello Lindsay,

Thank you for your feedback for this post :-)

I will have to go back and check my previous response LOL! It’s great that my posts and replies have been helpful to you.

Namaste.
Evelyn

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Kate I October 4, 2011 at 11:27 pm

Hi Evelyn, these are all great ways to practice non attachment! The one that I’m focusing on these days is being OK with uncertainty…this is so huge for everyone right now as the world seems like such an uncertain place. I’ve been studying (online) with Veronica Torres who channels Eloheim and the Council and they’ve been talking about this since December… how important it is for us to become comfortable with uncertainty, as this is the “portal” to a bliss filled life. If you’re interested, this is a link to a short video where they introduced this topic last December.
Again, thanks for this discussion and I’m off to listen to the interview with David Hawkins!

http://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DshnBt2e3Xt8

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Justin | Mazzastick October 5, 2011 at 3:56 am

I really like this post Evelyn. Even though I perpetually practice my own form of spiritualism I still find myself guilty of attachment at times.

You are right that pain is an indicator of holding onto an attachment. I never heard of David Hawkins before but I will definitely check out his book.

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marc van der linden October 5, 2011 at 2:18 pm

Great article again, Evelyn.

Practicing non-attachment is a challenge that becomes possible when focusing on practical ways.

I love the law of allowing – it allows me to experience joy, no matter what happens.

Thanks for sharing!

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Aileen | Kaizen Vision October 5, 2011 at 3:23 pm

Love this post Evelyn!
I’m a huge fan of Ester, Jerry Abraham Hicks and the Art of Allowing and loved seeing it here.
Your suggestion to “Give up the Hows” is brilliant. The ‘how’ is often the very thing that trips me and as soon as I let go of ‘how’ things flow again.
Also loved your suggestion of “Be Okay With Uncertainty.” It helps us become more brave, more open and…. able to receive a greater life experience.

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David Stevens October 5, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Hi Evelyn,
I fall over on “numbers”…..must be my Banking/Audit/Sales background…..can’t help it. But you are right, obsessing over them doesn’t work. Do the groundwork & let the numbers look after themselves. I’m pretty cool with the rest. Thank you for the enlightenment.
be good to yourself
David

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Jimmy October 5, 2011 at 6:37 pm

I struggle with number 2 and 3 often. Always thinking that I can and must find the way to do all things. This must be our societies quest for results. I enjoyed reading more about the art of allowing. That is really something that can put us in a state for receiving what is meant to be. I will be trying out number 7 and see what happens. Thanks for all this tips Evelyn. I really enjoyed your last two posts as they offered me something to try in my situation.

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rob white October 5, 2011 at 9:37 pm

Wonderful article, Evelyn. There is quite a delicate dance of being “Goal Seeking” beings and non-attachment. I love expressing myself through writing and become very attached to specific ideas, end results and even page numbers! However; my highest creative expression flows when my mind is clear and free from attachment to these worldly measures.

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J.D. Meier October 5, 2011 at 10:35 pm

Beautiful insights and prescriptive guidance. A little learning and allowing go a long way.

I too am a fan of focusing on outcomes or the “end-in-mind” and being flexible in the how. The caveat is that when we know our values, the how becomes a personal success pattern. But rather than a “tactical How”, it’s more of a “strategic How” that’s aligned with our values. For example, one of my principles for my How is that the journey Is the destination.

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Bryce Christiansen October 7, 2011 at 2:57 am

I’ve seen attachment destroy lives, especially when the feelings they are attached to involve family.

You spelled out the solution beautifully. Focus on the present, give up the hows…

It’s a big problem and I think you mastered the art of leaving attachment behind.

Thanks,

Bryce

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Galen Pearl October 7, 2011 at 5:55 am

#5 is such an interesting one because so many of us would rather be attached to our worst imaginary scenarios than to sit with uncertainty. This one was a huge lesson for me and once learned (well, mostly learned), made a tremendous difference in my life. Great post.

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sangeng October 9, 2011 at 10:28 am

Hi, Evelyn,
just a few quotations to trigger the mind into thinking. This is what books and quotations are for. “What is beyond remedy is beyond grief” (Shakespeare). I would say, what is beyond remedy is beyond having a hangover, fixation of mind over the object by way of the streams of thoughts that keep arsing and causing anxiety (symptoms of attachment). Solution –”if anger arises, it is interesting and if compassion arises, it too is interesting”. The approach is one of adopting an attitude ( to be specific, to surrender to or to use your words to allow whatever come may in respect of the outcome) and have the inner Self watch the thoughts that keep arising, i.e just watching and after watching, most important of all, to withdraw attention (in psychosynthesis term to “disidentify the Self from the feelings/sub-personality the give rise to the feelings/thoughts that arise.

“When the senior monk having carried on his back the kimono girl across a stream, flooded with water, he left the kimono girl there and never think about the precepts of not to have close proximity with the opposite sex.

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Anika October 9, 2011 at 12:59 pm

Hey Miss Evelyn,

I just moved to America from Bangladesh, to finish my GED.
I have a lot of trouble accepting my past problems of not being able to study properly, for the last 6 and 1/2 years. But I did have some troubles (that I mentioned in my huge email to you.) Now that I am in a place with more resources compared to Bangladesh, (I am living in Texas, College Station) I was wondering if you knew about any good therapists in this area, but I will look for some after my GED. With dealing with my issues for 6 and 1/2 years, I have successfully forgiven everyone and thing that came up from the past and present, accept for my cheating myself with my studies. My latest issue that was successfully dealt with, was my co-dependency with my mother. It’s funny, how I am living with her now in the States to finish up my studies! It is a lot easier to deal with her, now that I have let go of the many negative things I felt towards her, like my anger and feeling rejected because her actions (I felt) openly showed that I was not good enough. Now, at 18 and 1/2 years old, I am still feeling unsure of myself, but I feel that this is my way of releasing the remaining bits of my past’s unresolved fears.

It’s always good reading your blog, I think people all around the world will be grateful to people like you that dedicate their time to these kinds of issues.
Thanks again, looking forward to hearing from you
Anika

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Enriching Life October 11, 2011 at 11:17 pm

Dear Evelyn, thx for these great tips, their timing was perfect and I will put them to good use. It was also the first time I read about the Law of Allowing. It sounds great and I look forward to finding out more about it. All the best, Michaela

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Aruna October 12, 2011 at 11:46 pm

Dear Evelyn,

I found the following practices helpful:
1. Journaling: Journaling my thoughts, the thoughts I seem to be drenched with and find it hard to let go…when I start writing down, brings in much clarity of what to do to get these thoughts out of head. It could sometimes need some action, and sometimes just acceptance of me and others as they are.
2. Recalling the Serenity Prayer and sincerely praying it with the specific thoughts I am holding in my mind
3. Tapping, a practice I learnt from the DVD, “The Tapping Solution”
4. Yoga & Meditation

I discussed some personal experiences in my blog article:
http://blog.toughtimesneverlast.com/2011/08/10/organize-your-mind.aspx

With love,
Aruna.

[Reply]

The Vizier October 14, 2011 at 4:59 am

Hi Evelyn,

It is difficult to practice non-attachment especially when it comes to things that we are heavily invested in emotionally. But you have made a vital point when you say the object of our desire is neutral. This is why someone or something who means so much to us does not have a similar impact on someone else. And if an alien were to visit our world, we would have to explain our attachments to it before it can fully understand why we are so attached to someone or something that seems neutral to it.

I love the 7 ways you have put together for practicing non-attachment. Here are the thoughts that crossed my mind.

1. Focus on the Present:

It is important to manage what we allow our minds to focus on. Attachment as you rightly point out causes our minds to focus on the future. It is better to focus on what we can do in the present so that events will be likelier to unfold according to our wishes. Worry is not productive.

I also like how you mentioned the difference between non-attachment and detachment. It is easy to practice detachment and to assume that is non-attachment. But there is a difference between the two.

For me I think it is also important to realize the impermanence of things. Nothing lasts forever. All we have in this world are moments. It is therefore vital that we maximize these moments so that when the time comes to let go, we can do so with ease because we have no regrets.

Thank you for sharing this lovely article! :)

Irving the Vizier

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lauren Cohen October 26, 2011 at 4:42 pm

Hi–
Have started reading your awesome article of wisdom and am realizing I’d like to email this to my friend. How do I go about doing that? I certainly know I can give her your website but I’m sure she knows it- I just want her to read this article. It is so good!!!
thanks,
Lauren

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Mads Singers November 5, 2011 at 9:16 pm

Great post, specially the uncertainty piece was hard for me when I first started working with attachment.

Kind Regards
Mads

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C November 21, 2011 at 9:57 pm

I want to say thank you so much! I was really struggling with this idea concept of attachment and how I can let go of the outcome of my intentions. In some cases its effortless as I was discussing with some friends I have a “confident passion” about it but other things I see now I am fearful and unsure and lack trust that things will work out as they should. I said the words but don’t think I really felt the feelings at least not long term. This helped a great deal! Thanks again!

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