I don’t usually experience much controversy over the things I write but it appears that my last post with a “how-to” title has irked one reader. In her comments, she alluded that I was someone who has not fixed her own issues but trying to fix other people’s.
I was not angry but found the response unreasonable because anyone following my site for some time would know that I have been working (and still working) on my own issues.
I was going to publish another Nature Tapestry Notes update which I had planned for the month of November in this post. However, due to the said comment, I thought it would be more appropriate to establish some clarity and understanding regarding my blog and myself as a blogger. Please also excuse me if my post appears to be published in a harried manner (Grammar errors? Spelling errors? Clumsy expressions?). I have a number of offline engagements going on and it has been difficult to find some space to write this week. A confession here may be apt…I am actually not very good with words. I take more than two to three hours to write a post coherently!
Am I A Wannabe Expert?
I had to delete the second comment made by the same person because it went beyond inferring me as “a wannabe inspirational expert”. It was also sounding like a criticism on the rest of the bloggers in the personal development industry. [Please note that I will not hesitate to delete any comments that are of personal attacks on this blog. A difference in opinion on the content of the post is fine but a criticism on others (myself included) is not. Any comment to say that others have a huge ego reflects badly on the accuser. For only the ego will want to criticize and judge others.]
In all fairness, let me examine if I am a wannable expert because I titled an article “How-to”? Sure, such a title can give the false impression that I have it all but which is really not the case. My apologies if you have really been misled! My intent has been to share my experience and write about what has worked for me. I do not force anyone to adopt my beliefs or way of thinking and doing things. Once again, if you have been following my posts, you will know that I am guided by this particular quote by Buddha….
“Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.”
—- Buddha
My all-time favorite Buddhist quote for that matter is “the finger pointing to the moon is not the moon”. I have highlighted in my bio that: “My aim is to hold up the lamp for all, while I navigate through my life path.” So I picture myself in some tunnel of darkness, with myself volunteering to be some kind of guide to whoever wishes to follow the same path. I do not declare that I am THE WAY. My intent is to hold up the lamp or flashlight for others (myself including) to see a little clearer.
Hmmm…what would make me a good guide? By choosing to navigate forward and to hold the lamp consistently? This being the case, anyone can overtake me on this path. Many are already way ahead of me. I am not a guru, therefore.
I have also chosen to make looking at my own issues as priority and have spent hours working on them personally and for others. I am no different from any other person in a chosen profession, by virtue of time and effort. I am also humbly reminded not to over-sell myself in the light of events at the S$10,000 sweat lodge retreat accident that happened a month ago. My articles are free and most certainly, I feel entitled to write whatever I wish to share on my own site.
What Other Personal Development Bloggers Are Saying or Doing
I decided to check around to see what other blogs have been writing and titling their posts. As far as I can find, most bloggers in the personal development field have a how-to or 7- or 10-tips list type articles. The style is generally the same. Notwithstanding the titles that they have chosen to use, they interweave their personal experiences into the articles while sharing some useful advice.
Perhaps, what would be helpful is an explicit disclaimer, like the one that Albert of Urban Monk wrote….
“A quick disclaimer: I’m just a normal guy. I’m not the Truth, I’m not an expert, enlightened, or whatever – and everything that I say is just the opinion of a guy with a blog (Which anybody can start, by the way. Just because someone runs a blog doesn’t always mean he or she is suddenly an authority of any kind.)”
Albert has also written another post on rules and policies for commenting on his blog. Yes, if you are to ask me, I generally have the same set of rules.
Why I Chose To Blog
One of the reasons why I choose to blog is to challenge myself in communication. Blogging has allowed me a chance to express myself. I used to have difficulty connecting with my feelings. However, I soon realized that writing offered me the medium to reconnect with how I truly felt. I was also able to articulate my thoughts better from writing to speaking, thereafter. How has it really helped me? By being able to express myself, I have improved on the relationship with my loved ones (especially with my hubby)!
Additionally, once I got started, I realized that blogging in the personal development added a richer dimension to life. Through reading other personal development sites and blog commenting, I learned things about myself. I was able to clarify my personal values and beliefs internally. Where I felt irritation as a blogger, I reviewed my thoughts and feelings. I even worked on my irritations through EFT or meditating over them. A dear friend once sums it all in this suggestion for me to consider: What irritates you in others is the same aversion that you have of yourself.
In short, despite experiencing frustrations as a blogger, I have to concede that self-publishing in the personal development field has helped me evolve. So a sincere thank you to both my friends in the blogging world as well as my readers 
My Disclaimer
Call me boring, I certainly don’t hope to invite personal conflict. Please forgive me if I have made mistakes here and there over the things I write. I am only human and my views are certainly not the most enlightened ones out there. I can only share what I have mostly experienced myself, to begin with. Life presents experiences that unfold its lessons for me in a timely and most appropriate manner.
So if I may adopt Albert’s disclaimer and rewrite it with some personal flavor……
“A quick disclaimer: I’m just a normal female. I’m not the Truth, I’m not an expert, enlightened, or whatever – and everything that I choose to share is just the perspective of a person with a blog. Running a blog does not make me an authority of any kind. If a label is needed to describe the work that I do, may I offer myself to be known as some kind of guide. Do not simply accept everything that I say, therefore. Rather, I invite you to investigate for yourself what has worked for me. Also note that words I use may not completely or accurately capture the true nature of things all the time. ”
Last and not least, I began to see the hilarity of it all. A thought came to me as I was writing this post: so what even if I come across as a wannabe inspirational blogger? It is true that I thrive on spreading messages of love, hope, peace and joy. As far as I am concerned, I have every belief and conviction in what I am doing; generally speaking!
“Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.”
— Buddha
Your Disclaimers Please
If you are a personal development blogger, I invite you to write a disclaimer for your site. How do you position yourself – expert, friend, teacher, guru?
If you are a reader, do let me know if online how-to articles have ever helped you. Alternatively, do share who your favorite personal development writers are. No worries, even if I am not in your list I would like to learn where I can do things better!
Hope I have managed to clarify my perspective. I wish you all peace!
Popularity: 2% [?]
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{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }
Dear Evelyn,
First of all: Thank you for all your wise words and insights. It is always great to read your thoughts.
Secondly: There will always be people who are looking to blame others. I met these people as well and it seems to me they are saying these things out of frustration.
There are probably so many gurus who are also struggling with their own life. I think a guru is a person who shows you what you can do and gives you insight. A guru is also a person who knows they can do better and continues to work on improving their own life and the lives around them.
This means for example that you are a guru for me. You make me think about what I do (and you do it in a very personal and warm way).
Thank you for the thought of writing the disclaimer, will do that right now
.
Arjen
[Reply]
Evelyn Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 7:53 pm
Arjen,
Thank you for being so gracious in your comments. Also, welcome to my site! Your comment appears to indicate that you have different expectations from a guru. I don’t consider a guru as someone who gives others insights but merely to share them. I look forward to reading your disclaimer!
Abundance always,
Evelyn
[Reply]
Ann Larson Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 11:39 pm
I read your blog when ever I can at my desk. It keeps me asking my own questions. From my experience when someone is personally critical they find themselves on their own journey and are not ready to be asking their own questions. Let’s celebrate that your critic is actually starting their work. Thanks for the courage to work through your own work in a public spot. It encourages others to work.
[Reply]
Evelyn,
For every hundred that you help and inspire, there will be a few who will criticize. It has nothing to do with you – it may be just their nature to do so. I have found your posts encouraging and inspiring and full of humanity.
‘Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it.’~Lou Holtz
You have responded with humility, grace and with a lion heart defending not just yourself but also others who work in the field of personal development.
I find your posts extremely valuable and I would very much hope that you put this small episode behind you and keep on keeping on!
Regards from Rome,
Sile
[Reply]
Evelyn Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 8:03 pm
Hey Sile,
Thanks for taking the time to write a comment. Also, I am glad to know that you have found my posts helpful. Indeed, it is hard to please everyone.
Oh yes, I have no hesitation in deciding to continue what I am doing. I take the episode as a learning opportunity to align myself, the messages I hope to convey and to be more discerning about the words I use.
Abundance always,
Evelyn
[Reply]
Hi Evelyn,
I understand how you feel and sometimes this type of things will happen to us bloggers because we are putting out our views online where thousands can see.
It is hard to please everyone and out of the millions of people out there, there will definitely be someone who do not share the same view as us.
I had received a comment in the past from someone who does not share my view too and questioned about my credibility to share my knowledge. It is sad to see those negative comments accusing us to be wannabes when all we want is to share our knowledge with others. And yes, we did not even claim that we are the expert in the first place.
The negative comments hurt and it may take some time for you to forget about it but do remember all your loyal readers are behind you and they are the ones that had benefited from your knowledge.
Cheers,
Vincent
[Reply]
Evelyn Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 8:30 pm
Hey Vincent,
Missed you in yesterday’s gathering! Would have loved to meet you for the first time.
Actually, I don’t feel too hurt by the comment. For a start, I already am working on my ego issues. I have made no secret about it in many of my posts. I even laughed at myself at the madness I put myself through.
The feeling at the comment is more of a bewilderment than anything else. My only conclusion is that for someone to make a comment like that, he or she has not been following my posts or that I have not been clear enough in my previous writings.
Additionally, I have to say that it will be unreasonable to expect any blogger to be completely open of one’s personal affairs on a public site. I will clearly disappoint any reader who has that expectation of me.
I don’t profess to be a saint. I have my hangups. However, what is true is that I make it a point to take meditation seriously and to do emotional or spiritual healing on areas that have been brought to my awareness.
I hope that you are no longer affected by the negative comment on your site too. You will attract the readers who resonate well with your messages.
Abundance always,
Evelyn
[Reply]
Hi Evelyn, I don’t think I’m an expert on anything. But I do think I have learned some things from experience that are rationally justifiable (and I don’t feel inclined to say they are wrong because someone disagrees with them). If someone wants to share their experience or tear apart my content that’s great, we can talk about it and maybe both learn something.
I have done ‘how-to’ type posts, I think this is often what people are looking for. I hope my style of writing makes clear where my ideas come from and how they can be useful.
As to being a wannabe – well, if my style and the information I want to convey isn’t clear, this is a problem I want to know about. I think it’s OK to get better at our writng – which means when I look back at earlier stuff it won’t be as good. Is this being a wannabe or a learner? If what I have to say isn’t as insightful as other people’s stuff, the commenter can point me to the other stuff – or just move on to it.
Go deep into who you want to be and what you want to say. Speak your truth the best way you know how. I think this is what people are wanting to read – and I think it will help us get better at what we do to.
Thanks for your blog and raising this discussion.
Evan
[Reply]
Evelyn Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 8:44 pm
Hello Evan,
The article that generates emails for me almost every day is a how-to post. The people who write in are generally confused, lost and feeling hopeless about their situation. So not everyone is looking for this kind of posts but most definitely, some are.
Oh yes, I do cringe over some of the things I have written in the past. But then again, some people have found them useful. It is the critic in me that makes me want to improve on the way that I deliver my messages and how I write. Also, my content adjusts over time in relation to how I am evolving. Blogging is not a dead activity. On the contrary, it keeps me renewed by assisting me in evaluating my own progression.
Thank you for your well-spoken advice about “Go deep into who you want to be and what you want to say. Speak your truth the best way you know how”. I intend to take it very seriously!
Abundance always,
Evelyn
[Reply]
Perfection is an illusion. People who expect others to be ‘perfect’ first before they can stand up & be leaders will always end up being bitter & disillusioned simply because they are not facing truth & reality.
Our role here is not to show ‘THE WAY’. There IS NO ONE way. All of us are sparks of divinity going in our own ways towards one common goal, Universe, Love, whatever we like to call it. We share our way for others who may be similar to us but for others who are different, they will have other models, examples etc.
Evelyn, you light your path brilliantly & I absolutely adore all your posts. You have always been so gentle, kind & sincere in your sharing & I’ve always felt like your posts are lovingly crafted.
Venom can only come from people still subscribing to the illusions of:
a) Human perfection;
b) Need a ‘guru’ with the ‘right way’ to show ‘the way’ to ‘save me’;
c) That we are either ‘there’ or ‘not there yet’.
Our journey will never be ‘complete’, our perfection comes from our lovingly embracing our imperfections & we will never truly ‘arrive’. It is an ever-expanding, ever-evolving universe, full of diversity & change & that’s the way, uh huh uh huh, we like it
[Reply]
Evelyn Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 7:44 pm
Oh gosh, Silver! I wasn’t expecting anyone to write such nice reviews about my posts. I am my own harshest critic and many times, can only see my imperfections. I am still working on self-acceptance.
You have the gift of communication and are so wise for your age. You write so poignantly. I admire your spirit! I am not saying this because you have written some nice things about me. It’s what I have known you as.
I have nothing more to add to your comment. You’ve said it all!
With love,
Evelyn
[Reply]
Hello there Evelyn from a farmhouse in the wilds (well….O.K….semi-wilds) of Canada. I think Evan put his finger on the bottom line of it when he said “go deep into your truth”. There are thousands of unscrupulous blogging, writing, webbing people out there pretending to be gurus to take advantage of folks. These guys and gals know full well what their intentions are. Namely….deception….to gain for themselves at the expense of others. Unfortunately, the entire “self-help/personal growth” industry is rife with hucksters and sham artists. But that little word “intention” is where it’s at. When you and I blog or offer “how to” advice, we need not be Eckhart Tolle or Wayne Dyer. We need to be authentic and “of good intentions”. Thankfully, you and I know if we are or not, even if others aren’t sure. That’s the golden test. If we’re speaking our truth and it’s authentic kindness being offered…..we’re helping others “how-to Be Human” and…..critics be damned. Ciao Evelyn and you can be rest assured many other authentic people will come to your assistance if you’re attacked. Keep up the good work. John Duffield
[Reply]
Evelyn Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 10:46 pm
Hello John, you got me laughing with your introduction! Well, here’s my response from Singapore, an island city in the heart of Asia….
I am not sure that many of us or so-called newbie bloggers are intentionally deceiving others. We are largely in unawareness, acting on some lousy advice by internet marketing experts to position ourselves as experts for credibility.
Thanks for being a superhero and pledging the rest of the Truth-seeking community to the damsel in distress…LOL!
With love,
Evelyn
[Reply]
Hi Evelyn,
There’s a quote by a comedian I love. I don’t remember the exact words but it’s along the lines of ‘if you aren’t pissing people off, you aren’t trying hard enough.’
I think in many ways his message is spot on!
I also love John DeMartini’s take on this whole thing his goal is to reach everyone on the planet but he knows that he’ll reach 3billion in a good way where people will love his message but he also knows that the other 3billion won’t like him much. He has a great quote “A master lives in the world of transformation, not the world of loss and gain”
My personal opinion is that people like us, we all to often expect to please everyone when we write or share knowledge. More recently I decided to develop a thicker skin so to speak because I realised that I wasn’t going to get anywhere by trying to please everyone. I made it clear to people that if I have an opinion, and we don’t agree, so be it. How they respond to that disagreement is up to them. They may choose to be upset with me…is that my fault? Of course not. It wasn’t my intention to upset them in any shape or form but on the same token I can’t be held responsible for the way they decide to interpret my wisdom.
However that person responded to you…it was infact, in my opinion, a blessing in disguise. Look what has manifested from it. It made you take action and create rules for your blog and write in a way that was different from your usual style. She gave you a gift. She actually pushed you into exploring yourself in a new way. You chose to respond to her message in this way. Again, as I see it, nothing but good has come from that experience.
Keep writing and doing what you do! Remember along the way you will make enemies. You might not perceive or choose to respond to them as such but they will be there. Just remember that they are a gift, they giving you something wonderful.
Amit
[Reply]
Evelyn Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 11:00 pm
Hello Amit,
Thanks for sharing with me something new today. I have not heard of what John DeMartini has said. Great quote that you have shared!
It’s wonderful that you have decided to stand up for what you believe in! I don’t make it a point to give my opinion all the time but any marked differences in opinion will cause me to ponder and clarify my personal thoughts and inner values.
Ok…I didn’t realize that I have written so differently today…LOL! I was in such a rush as I had a ton of chores to do. So, yes, you have a point in this being a great experience for me to exploring myself more deeply!
Thank you for your encouragement and support!
Abundance always,
Evelyn
[Reply]
Hi Evelyn – I really can’t add much more to the wonderful posts above, but just wanted to send a hug to you. You have way more followers than you think -I read your posts but this is the first time I have commented – a criticism always brings friends out of the woodwork to protect you.
Keep writing -you inspire many
Marie (uk)
x
[Reply]
Evelyn Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 11:08 pm
Hello Marie,
I was just thinking to myself that this post would bring out all the closet readers who’d post a feedback, whether positive or pointing out areas I need to look into, and lo and behold…my comment box was graced by your presence! Glad to make your acquaintance!
Thank you for taking the time to stop by and write your feedback. Most of all, thanks for your support!
Warm hugs to you too!
Evelyn
[Reply]
Evelyn,
I don’t think a disclaimer is necessary at all. In the end, we are all the powerful Creators of our own experience. I think blog readers – okay, reasonable blog readers – who come to blogs such as yours and mine KNOW this. And I don’t think bloggers need to apologize for putting their thoughts out there to serve others.
You DO inspire people on a regular basis. That makes you an inspirational blogger, NOT a wannabe. It’s authentic and real and I hope you grab it and own it. You are, in fact, an expert on a lot of stuff.
I refer to myself as a money-manifesting expert. I don’t know everything, but I know more than some and I’ve manifesting money with greater success than most of the people I know. There’s always someone out there with more experience than ourselves. That doesn’t lessen our expertise.
I think you are an inspirational blogger, and more!
Blessings,
Andrea
[Reply]
Evelyn Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 11:17 pm
Hello Andrea,
I still don’t see myself as some kind of expert. But yes, reasonable readers ought to know that we don’t have all the answers!
It’s great that you can manifest money more easily than others. I haven’t gotten a hold of your latest programs but I definitely know that you have a gift in teaching. You have the ability to put things together in a succinct and easy-to-understand manner.
Thank you for your support and encouragement
With love,
Evelyn
[Reply]
Hey Evelyn – I’m flattered you’ve taken my disclaimer as part of your post. Sending a virtual hug to you too. The anonymous nature of the internet means that everyone can sometimes receive some nasty comments – it’s just to be expected. But look on the other side – the comments here obviously show that you have influenced positively thousands of people just by being who you are
[Reply]
Evelyn Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 11:25 pm
Hahaha…I finally got you, an A-list blogger, to come over to my site after a long time. Thanks for the virtual hug! Oh gosh…you ought to know better than to by too flattering in your comments. My practice is to be mindful of my ego!
Humbly yours,
Evelyn
[Reply]
Hi Evelyn – to me your my friend .. a person I could turn to .. someone I trust and respect – someone I can talk to about all kinds of things and those thoughts and perceptions I can take on board and into my own life if I so wish. Your ideas and thoughts are well expressed – and I love reading your posts – I missed you while you were away bringing this new abundance tapestry to life .. it is wonderful – don’t let one small criticism worry you – you and the rest of the world are the bigger important picture. Pursue your abundance to its full – we love it.
Be at peace – love and hugs Hilary
[Reply]
Evelyn Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 11:29 pm
Dear Hilary, the friend who educates me on history, culture and food….
I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the lightness of your being. I must have heard your soft whispers in the wind while I was considering whether to come back to blogging. Your warm encouragement is much appreciated!
With love,
Evelyn
[Reply]
Hi Evelyn,
I’m a recent subscriber and I joined because, after reviewing your site, I was impressed with your content. We are all on our own journeys, and I don’t expect you to be perfect or right. I find sites like these in order to help motivate me and keep me moving in my desired direction. I find the pieces that stick and work for me. Of course, not every site is for every person — I think that it is up to each of us to simply not return if a given website does not jive with our goals. Our job is not to try and change the author, but to find an author we can relate to.
One of the joys of the Internet is that I get to sample from as many pieces as I want and choose to stick with the ones I like!
-Carolyn
[Reply]
Evelyn Reply:
November 21st, 2009 at 11:22 pm
Hello Carolyn,
Thank you for subscribing to my content.
From the perspective of the blogger, I have one point to add to what you’ve said about self improvement sites. That is, sometimes, I wonder if who is benefiting more – my readers or myself. In reality, I find that I am learning and reminding myself by blogging the very thing I wish to be inspired in. It keeps me moving in my desired direction as well. So, ain’t it true that we help to spur each other on?
Same here. If I do not resonate well with what a blogger has to say on his/her site, I simply move on. I don’t see any point in expending more energy on a site with content that isn’t aligned to my findings. There is therefore no need to even make a blog comment.
Thank you once again for your support!
With love,
Evelyn
[Reply]
Hi Evelyn,
This is the first time I have ever responded to a blog. I do so because I am an astrologer and a couple of times in twenty years I have been attacked by clients. It may be only two times, but we who are trying to do a good job never forget those harsh comments in the sea of appreciation from readers and clients.
I my case I am able to see from those people’s charts that they have some difficult issue they are working on and need to find someone to express it to or attack with that issue.
I have been reading your blog for several months and never gave any thought to “your issues” whatsoever. I find you and your site to be light and inspirational in a world where so many want to focus on the negative. I often recommend it to clients who are down and depressed. You just keep on keepin’ on and know there are so many people you inspire.
Robert
[Reply]
Evelyn Reply:
November 21st, 2009 at 11:30 pm
Hello Robert,
I am pleased to make your acquaintance. Thank you for also introducing other people to my site. You have just provided me enough reasons to continue doing what I am doing.
I have been there in terms of depression, maybe not to the same extent, but definitely feeling miserable. I know that it helps to be continually reminded to stay positive. The mind needs to rewired from its old programming! Now that I thread more on the positive, it is my intent to help light the way for others who are still facing difficulty.
Thank you once again for your affirmation!
Abundance always,
Evelyn
[Reply]
What a fantastic piece to read. Let me just say that the way in which you describe yourself as an ‘everyday’ person with views to express is perfect. We all have opinions and there will always be somebody that will disagree with those views. Like you, I too simply share my experiences of life and hope to inspire and motivate others through them. I’ve been a radio personality for 22 years and have expressed views on air and immediately came under fire for them….and that’s ok with me. If we all thought the same thing we’d never move forward.
In my life experiences I’m hoping to simply share my ups and downs and express my views in my blog. I weighed 600 pounds and through a series of life changing circumstances and a total and utter ‘burn the house down’ change in lifestyle, I’ve managed to lose 380 pounds and keep them off. Do I have something to offer to others in my experiences? You bet!! (hope, love, change, positive attitude, thoughts on depression, and so much more)
As ‘regular’ people I feel we’re more qualified to share experiences and lend helpful advice because we’ve ‘been there and done that’. Some of the most qualified ‘experts’ are learned people but simply don’t have the real experience to fully comprehend and understand.
You asked to submit rules for blogs but I just want to submit a rule that we can all use to make change and share knowledge. I have it on my webpage blog at the top. It is from the very wise and scholarly Yoda. (yes….that Yoda) It is very simple…… “….do or do not……there is no try…”. As my dad would say ‘put that in your pipe and smoke it”!
Love to have you at my blogs at http://www.yourfirstday.ca
Take care and keep up the GREAT writing.
Joël Lamoureux
[Reply]
Evelyn Reply:
November 21st, 2009 at 11:37 pm
Hello Joël ,
Welcome to my site. How amazing! You certainly have a lot to teach me and lots more people by having gone through such a dramatic weight loss. Indeed, we teach best simply because we have gone through the same experiences ourselves and not because we have read some textbook!
Wow…I just saw your incredible “before” and “after” photos on your site. Am going to read some of your posts in a little while!
With love,
Evelyn
[Reply]
I complete agree with Silver Huang. If we are going to be critical of others simply because they aren’t our vision of perfection then we are going to have a tough time learning from anyone. No one is perfect. We all have issues. Whether it is Buddha or Anthony Robbins, we are all still human. It is our imperfections that bind us and make us so interdependent. For that, I appreciate your wisdom!
[Reply]
Evelyn Reply:
November 21st, 2009 at 11:55 pm
Hey Steven,
You have got a great point for me to note: “Whether it is Buddha or Anthony Robbins, we are all still human.” I have to confess that I have felt disappointment when some spiritual “guru” failed to meet my expectation. Truly, as you said, we are all human. Who does not have an ego, to begin with?
Thanks for your support!
With love,
Evelyn
[Reply]
Evelyn,
Anyone who reads your posts regularly knows who you are and the value of your site. Unfortunately, there will always be people who need to fight or put down what might help them. Maybe they do this because they’re not ready to listen or maybe they just disagree. Whichever it is, it doesn’t change the fact that you help lots of people!
I know it must seem like an attack, but compare these two comments with the number of people who regularly respond in the comment box about about how much they get from what you have to say.
Personally, I don’t even think a disclaimer is necessary. You shouldn’t feel a need to explain or justify what kind of blogger you are. Just continue to be who you are and write what you want to write; those who really matter love you for it:~)
[Reply]
Evelyn Reply:
November 22nd, 2009 at 12:08 am
Hi Sara,
I didn’t think a disclaimer was necessary too. I was all ready to publish a draft that I have in my folder. But an intuitive voice inside tells me that I need to turn this into a learning lesson publicly for some of us.
For the comments to this post, I was really expecting some kind of “brainstorming” on how best to word our titles or content, or even how to write a disclaimer. It was a surprise to me to receive such wonderful support and encouragement! Thanks for your lovely feedback!
With love,
Evelyn
[Reply]
Evelyn,
How unkind for some to simply blow out anothers candle,
with one or two unkind words.
Thankfully yours burns bright, we are all on a journey and benefit
so much from each others encouragement rather than negativity.
Keep on lighting the way, I am glad for it and the insight it brings!
Godspeed….
Carin
[Reply]
Evelyn Reply:
November 22nd, 2009 at 12:10 am
Carin,
Oh yes, I second your preference! I would rather spend more energy on supporting and encouraging each other, than to dwell too much in negativity. Aye!
Abundance always,
Evelyn
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Evelyn,
I’m glad you decided to write about it, because I’m probably going to re-word parts of my blog too, and be more mindful about how I come across in my writing.
It takes courage to put your feelings and thoughts out there where strangers can read them – it’s kind of one sided where they know you but you don’t know them. And so you’re the nobler for it, and those who strike out, as you mentioned, do so in their own hurt and darkness from under cover, because they cannot stand to see someone like you…
I read somewhere that every attack is a call for help. And in a way, it’s for people like that for whom we write, is it not? All the loyal commentors are already converts, and we spoke a few days back about ‘preaching to the choir’. Here at last is someone who has issues and whom your posts could really help. Just trust that this criticism has its place in the bigger scheme of things… this could be the thorn that starts that person hurting, feeling and growing. Hopefully
[Reply]
Evelyn Reply:
November 21st, 2009 at 11:52 pm
Hello Daphne,
Thanks for letting me know that some good for you has come out from me writing this post. I wasn’t intending to initially because I did not like the idea of expending more energy in an area that I had no wish to focus on. Besides, I didn’t think that the comment angered me all that much. However, I thought it would be helpful to set some clear rules for blog commenting on my site.
Yes, it is a good point to be mindful about the words we use. Even then, a how-to article is not totally wrongly titled from the perspective that you are teaching another person how to do something based on your prior experience.
Here is my view. Learning lessons are for both the blogger and the commentator who feels irked. Both have ego issues to deal with and things to be mindful about! The solution is that each looks within, while maintaining relationship harmony. Hence, the finger does not point outwards but inwards.
With love,
Evelyn
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oohhhh Evelyn. How I simply adore you! I remember reading the comment in question and was so confused I reread the post to see if I had missed something. And all I found was yet again a post written with purity of intention and heart.
What would my disclaimer be for my site? As you can guess:
My disclaimer for The Levity Project:
“Ha Ha Ha HA HA HA HA HA Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha HA HA!!!
Get in on the cosmic joke of life. Celebrate and Laugh! If what I
write upsets you, laugh at my folly knowing I am growing too like you!”
Like you, I weigh criticism and use it as an opportunity for self-reflection. And what I keep finding is that the ones with merit never even come off as criticism…just beautiful mindful ideas from which I can continue to grow. The ones that feel harsh, usually are and are a bout the person stating the idea.
I must say this in closing…a previous commenter wrote “we need not be Wayne Dyer or Eckart Tolle.” and the first thing I thought was : Who is to say we are not the next Wayne Dyer or Eckhart Tolle? All of us start somewhere and grow to the wilds of what we can possibly imagine and envision.
Your presence is powerful, Evelyn.
[Reply]
Evelyn Reply:
November 22nd, 2009 at 12:23 am
Hey Katie,
You said “If what I write upsets you, laugh at my folly knowing I am growing too like you!” Exactly! Read what I said to Daphne. We are all mirrors of each other. Our egos are only as big as those belonging to people with which we have mutual issues with. In viewing this episode not as a negative event but a learning opportunity, I like how you have articulated it in “just beautiful mindful ideas from which I can continue to grow”.
I drew my breath in at your comment “Who is to say we are not the next Wayne Dyer or Eckhart Tolle?”. What a playful suggestion, which has triggered me to think up new possibilities! Rightly said! Who is to say why not?
Love your presence! You’ve got so much energy that it is uplifting everyone around! What a blessing you are! Stay brilliant!
Abundance always,
Evelyn
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Evelyn
I think Everyone is wannabe!! something somebody.. There is also nothing wrong in it.. atleast we wannabe!!! something somebody or our unique self..
. We live in a free world.
I see that you are a responsible blog publisher by clarifying about that comment by a visitor. Hope to visit your blog more often.
Regards
Jay.
[Reply]
Evelyn Reply:
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:52 am
Hmmm….can I say that when we stop being wannabes, we are getting to be fully accepting ourselves as we really are and one step closer to enlightenment? Then again, enlightenment is never a “goal” that I seek….as if it is some kind of destination. What I am probably hoping is to bring myself in greater harmony with each moment of my life. There is balance, fullness, freedom from fear and inner peace. True joy then springs from within.
Thanks for stopping by, Jay!
With love,
Evelyn
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Evelyn! You are so WRITE you ALWAYS talk about you! Maybe she should look at How to Love Yourself in 17 Ways. That is an article that I really need in my life right now & you talk about yourself in that one. Im starting the Journey to loving myself! Hopefully I CAN GO THROUGH ALL 17 STEPS!
[Reply]
Evelyn Reply:
November 22nd, 2009 at 11:58 am
Thank you, Courtney, for finding benefit in an article of mine. Indeed, I did share about my previous challenges. I have come a long way since then, even though I still have my hangups. Then again, I am sure that you as the reader would prefer to read more uplifting stuff too. My inner script has changed, which is why I am writing better-feeling articles.
Way to go in your intent to loving yourself! It was what I did!
Abundance always,
Evelyn
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I find it strange that anyone should throw this criticism at you as you are very much a writer of personal experience and almost never hold yourself out as having answers for others on how to live their lives. All personal development bloggers are on a path and are sharing that path. If you have a problem with that, don’t read these kind of blogs. Seems simple to me.
For my site I would make my discliamer:
“I’m just a chick with something to say. I can be insightful, funny, but also self indulgent and a wee bit shallow (I did discuss objects of my lusty affections). The only constants are I seek answers, ravish my soul for truth and try to suck the joy out of life. Nothing more. Nothing less. If I have ever made you feel, think or laugh, then I have done my job well.”
Keep on keeping on, Evelyn. You do have a message to share.
Kel x
[Reply]
Evelyn Reply:
November 22nd, 2009 at 12:03 pm
Hi Kelly,
I sometimes wonder why I bother to blog and share about my challenges so publicly. As you well know, blogging is hard work….and we don’t necessarily earn much for a start. Then, I’d recall the advice by someone dear that if I have managed to help just ONE single person with something that I have said, I would have succeeded. Your disclaimer captures this sentiment exactly!
Thanks for your support
Love and hugs,
Evelyn
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I have never commented on your blogs before but faithfully read them. They are so inspirational and informative and have helped me in many ways especially to think differently and take action to better my life. I was so dissapointed when you stopped blogging for a while but am thrilled you are back. I think you have incredible insite and thank you for taking the time to share it.
Sherry
[Reply]
Evelyn Reply:
November 22nd, 2009 at 12:14 pm
Hello Sherry,
Your feedback is well treasured. I am not looking for personal development bloggers to bolster my ego, although I deeply appreciate their kind support. You are the person on-the-street that I hope to share my messages with.
I am an ordinary person with the intent to lead an extraordinary life, just by taking deliberate conscious actions. Just like you are. We inspire each other to constantly challenge ourselves for the better.
As I have previously commented in a blog response, I don’t know who really benefits more – me or you (the reader). I gain so much by writing down my thoughts and sharing them! At the same time, it’s nice that what I’ve written has touched someone like yourself.
Thank you again for writing your feedback. Most of all, thanks for being you. Without you, there is no me. In the same manner, without me, there is no you. We are very connected!
Humbly yours,
Evelyn
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Hi Evelyn. I won’t be writing a disclaimer because I don’t see it making any difference. I don’t proclaim to be an expert in the personal development field at all. I observe my own process and share insights with readers. We absorb what we choose to or are ready for. Personal development is just “development” ongoing and allowing it to emerge is a normal innate human character, whether a person recognizes it or not. It’s interesting how so many people believe that personal development “experts”, gurus, life coaches, etc are perfect. They have their issues just like everybody else, but the difference is they are able to put their issues aside to be present for their clients — objectively.
[Reply]
Evelyn Reply:
November 24th, 2009 at 9:45 am
Hello Davina,
Indeed, I never got that you claim to be some kind of guru. You have been authentic in the sharing of your messages.
Thanks for highlighting that life coaches have been trained to put aside their issues to be present for their clients. What is important that life coaches act responsibly!
Thanks,
Evelyn
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Just stumbled on to your site .
Impressions
Looks – clean,minimal and classy
This prompted me to explore the site and came across many good posts.The seven tips for surviving tough times was very useful.
Interesting.Who is Evelyn Lim ?
Ex Banker now living her dream . Reminds me of my favorite author Chetan Bhagat who gave his investment banking career to take up writing.Scrolls down to read the comments – David mentions the obvious.
Read the NLP post to reduce food cravings .Subscribed to your feed which by the way gives a message that it has been moved .Of course the new URL is available but you might want to correct it to make it easier to subscribe.
About the comment – What you say is useful and would help a lot of people .There would always be people who misunderstand you .Ignore them and keep up the good work .Thanks for sharing .
Blogs that I subscribe to
1. Zen Habits
2.Dumb Little Man
3.Stepcase LifeHack
4.The Wisdom Journal
5.Abundance Tapestry
5.The Daily Reckoning Australia
6.Abnormal Returns
All the best.
[Reply]
Evelyn Reply:
November 24th, 2009 at 9:48 am
Hello Thomas,
Thanks for highlighting to me about my feed address. I have changed it already.
Also, thanks for letting me know the overall feel that you have got when you came over to my site. I don’t know all the blogs you’ve mentioned. I am going to check up on the remaining ones! It is nice to know that you are subscribing to mine!
With love,
Evelyn
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Hi!
I hope after writing your comments above, you’ve not focused on defending your point of view anymore. By the LOA, what you focus on, persist. So if you still do feel offend or feel the need to defend yourself, you are still in that vibration. You can pivot your intention on what is not wanted simply by focusin on the wanted. My technique is never to defend myself and let the negative fly away in the air, because I know that if I think about it, it will still be in my experience (by the LOA).
I like what you do. No one is perfect. You deserve and have the right to express your spiritual knowledge the way you do. Many people will receive the wisdom from what you do.
I hope you’ve already pivoted your focus.
Love,
Marisa
[Reply]
Evelyn Reply:
November 24th, 2009 at 9:53 am
Hello Marisa,
Got the point about not defending myself. Thanks for pointing out that I no longer wish to have that in my experience. I have already moved on, by publishing a new post and am back with my Nature Tapestry Notes for the month of November.
With love,
Evelyn
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Don’t be disheartened by such comments. We don’t need to be perfect just so that we can guide others. Each person is special, each life unique, and we can surely learn so much from one another. That’s what’s good about blogs, we are allowed to share in the journey of another person. Our attitude then should not be criticism or judgment but of gratitude. And here’s a big THANKS for that! Carry on, Evelyn.
[Reply]
Evelyn Reply:
November 25th, 2009 at 10:47 pm
Hello Joyce,
Thank you for your encouragement and support. I didn’t feel disheartened really. I have every belief and trust in what I am doing. Indeed, blogs offer an excellent platform for the sharing of our journeys.
Wishing you much success in your journey!
With love,
Evelyn
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Hi Evelyn Evelyn Evelyn,
I know you have moved on, that’s the way, my friend. Never be disheartened, I have learned alot from your blog.
Thanks, from the bottom of my heart.
Thanks thanks thanks Evelyn.
Take care and enjoy your precious time with your kids. I’m also enjoying my time with my kids.
Do take care of yourself irregardless of what others might have to say… haha… I have been through all that, what matters most, is about the quality time you spend with your family too.
Bye for now.
Cheers,
JohnChoo
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You have really inspired and motivated me a great deal over the last 1 year, and thanks for that.
Thanks for spending all these times putting up those excellent blogs, I have learned a lot from your blogs.
You have been very brave… I’m not sure if I’m brave enough to put up such blogs.
Take Care Evelyn. Thanks again for sharing.
[Reply]
Evelyn Reply:
November 25th, 2009 at 10:32 pm
Hello John,
Thanks for letting me know how much you have benefited from my blog in the last one year. I don’t feel very brave. However, I make the intent of challenging myself. I have been living in discomfort, venturing into unexplored areas. I don’t have much of a choice. There is no other way than to put myself out there; testing, experimenting and experiencing for self-realization. It is the only way to find out the truth to who I really am.
Kids are precious, are they not? I love mine very much! Yes, they take priority over a lot of other things in my life.
Abundance always,
Evelyn
[Reply]
John Choo Reply:
November 26th, 2009 at 9:12 am
Hi Evelyn,
Yes yes, that’s the way to go.
Definitely kids take priority over a lot of other things.
Trully, thanks for being yourself and sharing your experience and feelings. I have the same feeling as you most of the time, it’s just that I never have the courage to say it out….
To me, you are definitely one brave soul….
Have a great time with the kids this holiday season.
“Appreciate More, Depreciate Less.” – Mr Geoff Tan, Senior VP of SPH (in his article dated Mon 23 Nov 2009, My Paper Page 08) – http://myepaper.mypaper.sg/ebook/web_php/fvbrowserjs.php?urljs=http://myepaper.mypaper.sg/ecreator/sphopf/myp231109cnd_opf_files/myp231109cnd.js&ver=Gen
Cheers.
JohnChoo
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Hello Evelyn, I found this slip of paper in my box of papers with your web address on it from a personal training client of mine from a year back. I dropped in tonite and after reading the messages, I like what I’m reading. I too, am on the spiritual/”real world” journey, attempting to mesh both. Your fellow-bloggers speak highly of you and I’ll check in more often.
When you commented about “being a guide”, I felt inclined to say that I feel as if I am an observer/experiencer and want to share these experiences with others. As a result, this opens the door to others of like mind/experience. And, what fun that is!! We can be at the same place yet have different levels of experience.
Bless the heart of the one who feels you or anyone is a “wannabe”. Her vibrational level reflects her c0mment. And, that’s okay!
I, too, love EFT! What a wonderful way to work through the emotional levels and really see results in ways you wouldn’t even begin to guess. It just goes to show ya emotional baggage can be dealt with fairly easiely.
Good luck and hope to check in again!
[Reply]
Evelyn Reply:
November 30th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
Hello Loni,
How amazing that you’d find my web address on a slip of paper! Oh….my fellow bloggers are just too kind! I’ve got much to learn from everyone as well. No one is really better than the rest. Each of us have something unique to share.
How nice that you also use EFT! I apply it almost every other day on situations big and small; for myself, kids or anyone else. I am glad to know that you’ve experienced wonderful results!
Hope to see you around! Happy wishes to you, always!
With love,
Evelyn
[Reply]
Hi Evelyn,
I was reading through your archives and found this, thought I’d give my two cents even though you wrote it a while back.
If you write a ‘how-to’ article, then that doesn’t make you a “wannabe expert.” It just means you have some ideas about how to do something and want to share it with others. Nothing wrong with that, I think! It’s rather generous actually to write it and make it available to many people.
I think the comment that person wrote just shows their buttons have been pushed in some way, that has nothing to do with you as a blogger.
Love Anna
[Reply]
Evelyn Reply:
June 9th, 2010 at 12:41 pm
Hello Anna,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It’s comforting to know that you understand about being a blogger. I continue to post my articles because I know that they have provided some relief for others, those who have resonated well with the things I have shared through some of their most difficult moments. I believe that you are blogging too for the very same reason
With love,
Evelyn
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