(photo by anwerpenR)
Dear Diary,
My host (Evelyn) finally went to watch the movie “Confessions of a Shopaholic” today. I have been bugging her to. There were so many things about the show that I could relate to. So learning from the actress Becky in the movie, today’s post entry is really about my confessions: I love to shop. I am a shopaholic! I love to shop for designer bags, attention, and labels. In case you don’t know me yet, I’m Mae – Evelyn’s ego.
My host must be getting deaf these days. I have been trying to tell her how good the latest Prada bag or the Jimmy Choo shoes look. Or how exquisite a Vera Wang gown is! Never mind even if she does not have an upcoming function to wear it to! I thought it will be a fantastic idea to buy the gown first.
The good old days were glorious! I was always getting the latest season specials or the one-of-a-kind bag. Even though I outgrew an item rather quickly, I seldom needed to worry. I would be on the hunt again.
Watching the show with the array of beautiful designer clothes did nothing to my host. You know. I cried when Becky sold her beautiful stuff. My heart wrenched. It’s even harder for me these days. I no longer get new clothes and accessories quite so often. In fact, I look like I am in uniform everyday – plain T-shirt and jeans!!
My host has been listening to some de-cluttering expert. She has changed her taste of late. Instead of fashion magazines, she is now spending her time reading personal development blogs. She is almost unrecognizable these days!
As with clothes, I also love shopping for praise, admiration, recognition and acknowledgement. The better they sound, the more I can throw my weight around. If they come from an authoritative voice, I feel even better. If anything, what I fear is mediocrity.
Here is another BIG confession. If I do not get positive attention, I will contrive to get negative attention. I love playing the victim. It’s a wonderful role to play up. I get everyone’s sympathy with “me and my story”. The more drama that I build into my story, the bigger I become.
I certainly love shopping for beliefs, attitudes and labels to adopt. If I lose one, I move on to another. Not a big deal!! For a time, the ones that I liked were “I am smart”, “I am cool”, “I am successful”, “I am right” and “I am different”. These days, material labels seem to be less in vogue than spiritual ones. Rumors have that “I am an ascended Being who has incarnated on Earth to bring light to all” as one of the more highly prized labels in the market! Of course, my host has refused to wear any tag that is not true!
Let me just share that in recent times, I have got a new enemy – Eckhart Tolle. He has been giving my host all sorts of ideas about quietening my voice. I am barely audible now because of him!
His advice runs contrarian to what I have always focused on. His advice: “the paradox is that the foundation for greatness is honoring the small things of the present moment instead of pursuing the idea of greatness”. He also says that inner peace is obtained from creating harmony with the present moment.
My host is guided to simply observe, no more judging or attaching labels. That she is around others simply as a “field of awareness” or rather, “presence” in short. When she is able to bring quality to her moments, she is considered successful. Recognition and acknowledgement then comes out of being successful.
A new way of defining success, I must say. I can’t even wrap my brains round this concept yet. Still, after many years of creating rackets, I am somewhat exhausted. I have to admit that I kindof like the sense of peace that is coming out from my host these days.
Oops…I gotta go now! I think I’ve just been found out by my host. She is telling me to butt off!!! *Hushly* Don’t forget to let me know your thoughts. Bye!
Signed,
Notes by Evelyn:
1) This article was written in fun, just in case you suspect that I’ve got multiple split personalities. It is meant to show the ego as a self, one that is attached to forms and pre-conceived notions of success.
2) Not everything written is true of Mae. Don’t forget that she is not known as Melodramatic Mae for nothing!
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{ 34 comments… read them below or add one }
LOL I love it!!!
you rock friend!!!!
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Hey Evelyn,
If Mae had met my ego Kate earlier, they would have been great friends, hahaha! I, too, am no longer into Prada or LV these days … I am still very much into quality though, but of a different kind.
By the way, if you haven’t watched “Knowing”, put that on your next to-watch item. It’s awesome.
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@Jenn, glad that you’ve enjoyed the post sneaked in by Mae! Have a great week ahead!!
@Irene, it’s nice to know that Kate would have gotten along with Mae! Then again, I’m glad that they never met previously. Nope, I have not watched “Knowing”. I don’t watch all that many movies these days. But I’m certainly happy to know a good recommendation. I’m going to check the papers later to see if it is still on and if it is, to bug a friend to watch it with me.
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I loved it!
While I’m not on the same spiritual journey as you, I feel the same about simplicity and decluttering. My days as a shopaholic are over too!
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Though my days of shopping isnt over, I’m more selective with what I do buy and I try to declutter often.
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Mae, I was a shop till you drop and I have taken a 10 steps back, I now ask if I need it or want it. If it is a want, then I don’t get it, if a need , I ask myself “why” and then I analayze why and most of the time, I don’t need it after all. I have come such a long way.
Linda
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This is so beautiful. Evelyn! “When she is able to bring quality to her moments, she is considered successful. Recognition and acknowledgement then comes out of being successful.” – awesome!
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I just love it!:)
I saw the trailer for this movie and thought I would love to see it to be reminded I still have clutter and clothes to divest myself of.
I Love this: My host is guided to simply observe, no more judging or attaching labels. That she is around others simply as a “field of awareness†or rather, “presence†in short. When she is able to bring quality to her moments, she is considered successful. Recognition and acknowledgement then comes out of being successful.
Where we are all heading, to observe……..
thank you and now i will go and divest my wardrobe of some clothes to fill a charity collection tomorrow
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Hiya
I enjoyed this post. What a unique style!
I like the ‘presence’ way of being or ‘present state.’ For me it’s often just being very relaxed, noticing what’s there and caring.
Thanks
Jens
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Hi Evelyn,
I enjoyed this read very much. You have talent as a writer (Mae would LOVE this recognition wouldn’t she? ha ha) and the style reminded me of the Screwtape Letters. Great job!
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@Vered, simplifying our lives can also be very much a spiritual process
@Carla, good for you
We don’t really need all that much new stuff!
@Linda, oh wow….thanks for sharing about a needs versus wants analysis!
@Suzie, it’s wonderful that you resonated well with the same lessons that I am gaining from Eckhart Tolle. I smiled in delight when I read that you are about to divest some of your wardrobe for a charity collection. Great!!
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Haha.. now this is melodramatic itself…:P
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@Jens, hmmm…for me is being fully engaged in the present moment. I am not thinking of something else but aware and with my every presence in the Now.
@Daphne, thanks for the compliment. Mae seems to be more easily satisfied nowadays. She does not seek much in acknowledgement nowadays but is nevertheless, every bit appreciative for any validation that comes along. Screwtape Letters are new to me. I’ve not heard of it. I don’t write in this style mostly. It’s just that I like to inject some humor and fun every now and then into an otherwise serious site on personal development. I find that I can’t help it, having a song and dance once a while!
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Loved this, very funny. I have never been a shopaholic, except maybe in regards to books, but my ego manifests in other ways and that’s really what Mae is all about. I saw this movie too with my mum and we both enjoyed it. I have always enjoyed decluttering – maybe it goes with being a backpacker and enjoying feeling unencumbered by STUFF – but my hubby is a hoarder. It drives me nuts!
Can totally relate to the mum/at home worker wardrobe of jeans and t-shirt. I have been in this for 5 years now, though going to Europe last year did make me sharpen up the edges a bit. I try to swap the tee for a blouse sometimes and add some earrings and cute shoes when I go out to the shops. It’s not ego driven to embrace your femininity, I don’t think. I know I am not what I wear, but I do feel better if I make some effort.
And joy is the goal of each day, so maybe some shoe shopping occasionally is a good thing
Kelly
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Love this post! It’s so creative!
I’m a shopaholic myself so I could relate to a lot of the things Mae said (unfortunately). But I’m working on it!!
Thanks for this post. It was fun to read!
http://positivelypresent.typepad.com
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Your evolution is a lovely thing to read about. I can relate, although I was never into designers. More into hardware and books.
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Hi Evelyn,
I LOVE this post!!! (The caps for the love was intended!) What a beautiful way to showcase how the ego works. I originally read this post while on the subway and it made me laugh out loud especially when I got to the part on Eckhart Tolle because it is so true.
Wonderful job as always, my friend! 
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What a funny post! Personally, I hate shopping. Well…
Okay, I have to admit that I have a love affair with expensive shoes. All of my shoes are expensive, not a cheap pair in the lot. But you have to take special care of your feet, right?
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Thanks for this. And now the burning question that I’m sure has been on all our minds: How did your ego come to be called Mae? Because it starts with the same letter as melodramatic?
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Hi Evelyn (and Mae): I’ve never been very big on shopping, but it’s interesting to hear about someone who was previously addicted to the latest Prada bag
Ah yes, instant entry into an “elite” group simply fron buying a bag 
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@Victor, tickled? I’m happy that you’ve enjoyed the post!
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Kelly,
It’s great that you went to watch the movie with your mother. I watched it with my sister-in-law. Both of us had a great time over a 3 hour meal followed by a meal. I seldom get the chance to relax and I must say that the outing was great because it brought me a closer connection with family.
I certainly know what you mean by earrings and accessories. I am not always in T-shirts and jeans and do make some effort every now and then, to dress up if I am going to town (which is actually just 5 mins away).
Yes, joy is the goal of each day. *Nodding my Head* I totally agree to shoe or lipstick shopping (I wrote a post on lipsticks some months ago) every once in awhile….oooops…..did that come from Mae??!
Love ya! Have a great week ahead!
Evelyn
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@Positively Present, I’m glad that you can relate to this post
@Dot, we all have our weak spots, don’t we?
@Nadia, you made me laugh with the feedback that you laughed aloud in the subway! I’m glad that the post resonated well!
@Lovelyn, you made me laugh too!! Mae is saying yes to the expensive shoes!
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Chris,
Good question. Perhaps you may or may not believe this but each of us has a soul name as well as a name for our subconscious. Mae is the name that belongs to my subconscious. For this post, I simply used it to represent my ego. I didn’t realize that it actually went very well with “melodramatic” until I was towards the end of the writing of my article.
With love,
Maevelyn
(P.S. “Maevelyn” should be easy to guess!)
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Marelisa,
In reality, I wasn’t quite an addict for branded stuff. I only bought a few classic pieces (er…of course classic as I understand now can also be an illusion…LOL). I had a different sort of addiction for the years when I was working – sea sports!! I was out at sea every weekend. There was hardly any time left for shopping; not that I wanted to do it anyway. The main accessory I had was my wakeboard and ski gloves.
Hmmm….interesting that you said about joining an “elite” group. I didn’t think I particularly cared for that. I was more interested in what a good buy my bags were…..but of course, it meant that I bought into all the sales talk!!
Love & light,
Evelyn
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Hi Evelyn. It’s fun to step outside of ourselves and be playful rather than judgmental of our perceived faults. Your other ego “Evelyn” enjoys shopping for new perspectives.
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Brilliant! (Hopefully Mae won’t get too bloated from all the praise…) As I wrote last time, I am really on the lookout for ’spiritual ego’ in my own practice these days, so loved the “I am an ascended Being who has incarnated on Earth to bring light to all†poke…you know the very middle chapter of the book I mentioned last time is called ‘Sense of Humour’ – all about what a great tool that is when working with our egos…
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@Davina, you’re right. It’s great to be able to laugh at ourselves! Oh yes…I find that I like to shake things up a little
@Lisa, oh…no worries about Mae…LOL! She is pretty tame nowadays! Hey, it seems the same with me too about the “spiritual ego”. I am on the lookout. There is really no need to get too bloated either. After all, most of us have the same access to our spiritual or intuitive resources. In any case, I doubt I see myself as superior to anyone else. I really am not. I am particularly mindful of ego issues because I need to maintain a level of objectivity to get closer to the Truth for my reading services. I like the tip “Sense of Humor”…we sure need more doses of that when looking at ourselves!
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Everlyn,
Congratulation for successfully looking at yourself at another angle !
It is really interesting that you can look at yourself “this” way.
BTW, to me, life is ‘knowing what I want and align myself to receive it.”
Don’t you think it is so interesting to realize: ” I want this”; and then ask yourself: “why do I want this?” and then ask yourself:” How can I have this.”.
To your financial prosperity. – Wilson
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Evelyn,
What a great post. So clever and so poignant about how the ego has a grand old time with us. It has me thinking about what messages my ego might be sending…
It used to send the message about fashion etc, but then I moved to Maine where people are SO not about fashion fun stuff. (unless boots and flip flops are high fashion)
Great writing style and of course now I want to see the movie too…
Katie
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Evelyn,
How cute and clever!
As for you, Mae, you won’t be alone for long. I’m sending my ego, Susie, to keep you company since I send her to sit down in the corner frequently.
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@Katie, you had me laughing at “boots and flip flops”! Oh yes…go watch the movie! I suggest watching it with a female friend!
@Flora, you totally cracked me up with “Suzie” and the thought of them having time-out…LOL!! It’s sooooo funny!!
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I haven’t seen that movie yet, didn’t expect it would receive good review from you, hehe, now surely I will try to check it out soon. I do go shopping but not really a shopaholic. Cool post.
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Good thoughts and very nicely written..
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