This is my first time to ever seek some kind of guidence and advice for all the unhappiness I have kept inside of me over the years. When I was in my childhood years I was always the runt or the outcast of the group, the fat chubby kid with the classes who never measured up to the rest of my group of friends (they were all skinny, insynced with one another cause all their parents had more money than my family, and all had an older or younger brother as for I had only sisters). Ever since my childhood and teenage years I’ve struggled time after time to do whatever I can to fit in but no matter how hard I tried I always fell short and felt not good enough. Now that I am 27 soon to be 28 I have become more sucessful in my job and such. I am no longer the fat chubby kid, I actually grew up to be a good looking guy but I never fully accept that I am. Whenever I see someone that is born genetically good looking with out having to try to look good I get down and I tell myself you ugly. Even when it comes to relationships. I try too hard to please the other and feel like I am walking all the time on pins and needles. And if things don’t work out, I blame myself for the split and question myself to death on What is wrong with me for them to change and to easily exit out of the relationship in which I can’t seem to get off the road. Because of the stress and anxiety of having to be carefull on what decisions or actions I must take to seek approval to feel good about myself. I’ve been through some traumatic break ups, loss of job when the economy crashed which caused me to loose a lot of everything I worked so hard to create has tumbled to the ground leaving me with nothing to show for. For the past year now I’ve been rebuilding myself starting all over again trying my hardest to make changes but I can’t seem to get around it. Then I isolate myself off from others besides co workers and I lose all social confidence because I am to worried as to what they think of me or what they’ve heard about me. I am body conscience, I have a good in shape defined body but once again when ever I see someone better I look at myself and my perception totally changes for the worse. Most recent, a guy asked me out and it really shifted my confidence to a really positive aspect and I was doing things for myself I have never done before in a long time and it felt really good. He would bring me up sky high with compliments and affectionate sayings that made me become comfortable to him but then shifted and told me that he really liked me but he thinks I’m too clingy. Now leary of what to now beleive and not to believe in what he says he now has changed his priority towards me. He use to text me or want me to stay the night with him all the time but now i’m the one having to get a word out of him and haven’t been asked to stay the night since. And now I sit here wondering what I did or what has happen to make him change his feelings towards me because has not given me any feedback or reasons too and now I’m stuck in a rut again. I really want to stop getting hung up on letting others view points control my life.

I also teach this concept of releasing the limiting beliefs. I always say, “The more you let go, the more goodness can flow.”

@Erek, totally agreed! Everyone’s map of the same terrain differs and we should also not place judgement on each other’s.

@Mary, what a sad story you shared. There is probably a lot of negative “anchoring” (an NLP term) done by this woman’s husband. It will be hard for her to be free, if she does not reverse that.

Whilst I think it’s a great idea to encourage people not to get stuck there, I think it’s also true that many people can’t actually climb out of those places by will alone.

I remember a woman who came to see me secretly because she wanted to escape from her violent husband. She managed to plan her escape right down to the last details. But at the last moment, she couldn’t find the strength to do it – it had been beaten out of her over the years. I went through this 3 times with her. Finally she managed to escape.

A week later her husband sought her out at work and said he would abduct, rape and kill her if she didn’t come back home. She did.