(Min dancing in joy – a great state to BE!!! Photo: limevelyn on flickr)
I’ve got a question for you today: Do you live your life according to HAVE-DO-BE or BE-DO-HAVE?
“Huh…what???” you may reply. I can almost imagine you looking baffled at this point.
Well, let me explain.
Most of us are living our lives according to HAVE-DO-BE. It’s not a great way to live, I’m afraid. We are, in actual fact, getting things reversed.
The secret to abundance (having all-there-is such as happiness, love, peace, joy, success, etc) is to BE-DO-HAVE. The BE-DO-HAVE order as very much aligned to how we can apply Universal laws (including the Law of Attraction) in the process of creation i.e. the creation of our external reality.
HAVE-DO-BE
I first encountered the idea of our HAVE-TO-BEs in the Conversations with God
We define our dreams mostly by material things. A big house. A flaming red sports car. A million -dollar online business. We need to HAVE what our neighbors are having, so that we can DO the things they enjoy and then we will BE successful. Or, we need to HAVE all these material possessions, then we can DO all the various things (like travel the world, lead the high life, or sip champagne on our yacht) and then we will BE happy.
In the area of beauty, the same formula is being used. Beauty is often treasured based on outward appearances. Most certainly, we are not helped by the constant bombardment of media ads that continue to prey on our insecurities. Consequently, we think we have to HAVE the looks first (and if we don’t, we can solve our lack of one by breast implants, plastic surgery or Botox) before we DO attract the dream partner and then we can BE happily married ever after!
In the practice of spirituality, it is also easy to fall prey to assuming the same HAVE-DO-BE paradigm. We tell ourselves that we HAVE to experience blissful states in our meditation before we can BE contented. I remember a time when I used to get frustrated because I failed to experience jhanas in my meditation at each quiet sitting. I had, during that period, tasted the low fruits of bliss a few times and started to crave for them at every meal. I also longed for bigger feasts. No surprises that I got very disappointed!!!!
Then, if you have been hoping to become a best selling book author, have you been adopting the same HAVE-DO-BE fallacy yourself? Your thinking goes: I need to HAVE more time and then I can write my book and then I will be so happy because I can live off the royalties that I earn from it. If you have been studying materials from the law of attraction, then you must know that worrying over the “hows” and needing the “haves” right up front can create blockages to the creative process.
All in all, the problem with HAVE-DO-BE is that it is very much based on living in the future. We are not happy in the present moment. We do not realize that underneath all that motivation in working hard to HAVE what we want, are thought patterns based on lack. Craving fuels us to work harder and harder. We desire what we do not have intensely and lament that despite all our struggles, we are still very far from our dreams.
The BEs that we are in is hardly a state of abundance. Emotionally, we tie our happiness to our desired outcomes. We have little no or awareness about how we are letting external events dictate our inner state. Our lives have been pretty much an open door to emotional upheaval!! We become trapped in a constant cycle of yearning and not feeling fulfilled.
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BE-DO-HAVE
The way the Universe works is that we BE happy, peaceful or contented and we take (or DO) the necessary actions from this state of BEing. Creatively, we then bring forth the outcome we desired to have in the first place.
The next question you may ask is how do you BE when you are not there yet? Do you fake it? The answer is no. You can’t fake something and have a higher state of energy resonance show up in your auric field. It is just not possible. The best way from how I’m understanding things to be is to work the process out in incremental steps.
You need to determine what you need to BE to HAVE what you want to have. You begin to BE, even in whatever small ways, from your current position. When you start to BE, you choose to be happy, appreciative, peaceful, contented or whatever it is that you ultimately desire right now. You can do so by being appreciative, counting your blessings and viewing things in perspective. Your focus is on the “present moment”, cultivating joy for what you already have.
Your emotion-backed thoughts immediately put you at a higher level of energy vibration. Your aura shines somewhat brighter. Like a magnet, you also begin to attract frequencies that correspond to better outcomes. As you move up the scale in happiness, peace or contentment, you eventually get to the vibrational level that matches your desired dream of abundance.
“In life, you do not have to do anything. It is all a question of what you are being”.
— Neale Donald Walsch in Conversations with God
BE-DO-HAVE or HAVE-DO-BE?
How are you living your life today? Share your comments/story/ideas in today’s food-for-thought post.
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@Tom, I’m glad to know that you resonated well with what was written in Conversations with God too.
@Suzie, it’s nice to know that we share the same taste in books and on the same journey.
@Lance, it’s wonderful that you acknowledge that which is a better way to live and at the same time, recognize that it is really very much a journey. A constant evolving state of BEing and acting to get to the HAVES.
@Miguel, how nice it is of you to drop by!! Thanks!! A warm welcome to you too!!
Christopher, while I do recognize that it can take quite a bit of shift for many of us to even move into the first BE, I am not going to assume that it is going to be quite so difficult or complex for everyone. Yes, for the “wounded soul” as you’ve commented, it is more probable that the process will take a fair bit of healing. Then again, things may just fall right into place quickly for the one who’s able to see the light and able to apply Universal Laws of Creation correctly.
Also, the HAVES that we desire are all different. The bigger the gap between the BE and the HAVE, the greater a shift is needed. For those with the smaller gaps, it is also likely that the changes needed may not quite as major as needed for those with the bigger gaps.
Sincerely,
Evelyn
@Jewel/Pink Ink, you are not alone. However, I’m sure that you are going to enjoy your journey much better by allowing the BE, the present moments, to come up more.
@Janet, a warm welcome to you on my site!! Do grab a cup of coffee, hang around and read some of my past articles!!
@Dot, surely there are moments of joy whereby you connect to your inner child every now and then? It’s a BE state.
@Evita, reading Conversations with God has also been life changing for me. It has been an important book that put a lot of things, in areas that I needed answers, together. Glad that you are having loads of fun!!
@Steve, the DOs that come from the BEs are more inspired, creative and joyful. Putting the DO first is an emphasis that you have to take action before you can get to the BE. In a way, a lot of us are more DOers than BEers.
Taking a step back to reflect on your question now, I don’t think it’s a static equation either. I’d say that DO-BE-DO or BE-DO-BE-DO or whatever is a constant evolving state of improvement. The only thing to remember is that we need to BE in order to HAVE.
What a lovely picture of your girl! Made me smile
I try to learn from my kids – to be-do-have. Your post is a great reminder though! I read the title and knew what you were trying to say ….such a great way of putting it. Thank you for your thoughtful and inspiring posts ..and sharing the pictures too !
Evelyn,
Wow! What a great concept and so well said. I like how you talked about the concept of whether or not you have to “fake” it until you can “be”. I agree with the idea that the point is to get in touch and connect with whatever part of ourselves that believes in the truth of our being. Like you said, it is about letting the “BE” start very small and then grow until it matches our vision of what we want it to be. So often, we discourage ourselves because we have not already achieved our Ultimate Vision.
Thought-provoking…I will be back to re-read. Thanks!
Evelyn, excellent post, I shared it with some friends and it’s good advice for me too. We easily fall into if only I had then I can be this, then I can do that. not really the case, we can start small like you mentioned and start being what we want. It’s important to set small goals along the way, we’ll get there. Now I need to go finish writing one of my books. Darn. LOL
I have to admit, it’s not easy to count blessing in the middle of chaos like I am but this article makes me want to reconsider. Thank you.
@Katie, glad that you found the article useful. Many of us fall into the trap of desperately wanting to “deceive” ourselves into BEing our ultimate vision rightaway. But our subconscious mind is smart. It knows if we are “faking” it. So making that connection of that part which we already are is really the secret to feeling good even though we are not there yet.
@Natural, thanks for sharing this post with your friends. It’s an important lesson for me too, about BEing what we want now and not later.
@Nashville, sorry to hear that you are in the middle of chaos. Most often, you can only do what you can do – which is to start from yourself. All the best!!
I think if you can Be rich on the inside when times are the hardest it will pave the way to Having the outer signs when the time comes eventually. If you’ve been there in your mind, you’ll have no difficulty being there physically.
I to have recently come to the realization that Have to Be is the wrong way to go and you are really setting yourself up for failure. I recently learned about the term, hedonic adaptation. It basically means that we can buy things or move places, and we will be initially happier. As humans, it’s a good thing we adapt quickly because it allows us to get over tragedy, etc. However, hedonic adaptation works against us in that if we are seeking happiness in an outer item, we will quickly adapt and that initial happiness will fade.
My 2 cents!
@Dan, well said!! I love what you wrote “If you’ve been there in your mind, you’ll have no difficulty being there physically”.
@Happiness is Better, material possessions cannot bring us inner happiness that is for sure. But we are often deluded into thinking that they can. Because we only believe what we can see externally. We see that our neighbours have big cars and nice houses, but we do not know if they are happy or not in their hearts.
Evelyn, thank you for raising this meaningful point. People do things unconsciously. By raising awareness of how we think, this is the first step to dissolving self-created misunderstandings and illusions.
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