“A confession has to be part of your new life.” – Ludwig Wittgenstein
If you had read my book, Self-Love Secrets or been a subscriber to my posts, then you already know that I have had blocks with self-love for several years in my life. However, what I may not have told my story quite so clearly previously is this……
Right after becoming a certified life coach a few years ago, I thought I had finally learned what the magic bullets are for personal transformation. And so, armed with the desire to “contribute to humanity”, it seemed easy to dish wonderful tips out to others and especially through a website.
Yet, things were not the same on the personal front. Time and time again, due to some situational triggers, I would fall back into the same old negative self-talk patterns of criticism, rejection and judgment. I was unhappy and impatient with myself.
I felt an immediate disconnect. It was downright frustrating. I ended up beating myself even more, because I thought I ought to know better. After all, I had undertaken a certification personal development course that lasted weeks or even months. Sure, it helped me with some needed changes. But it was clearly not enough.
Consequently, due to the extra whippings, my heart would bleed from internal self-inflicted wounds again. Ouch!!
What a double whammy!
Back to Recovery
Well, needless to say, I eventually had to retreat into recovery and healing. There was no way I could function properly without first helping myself. Luckily, I had enough awareness to realize what I was doing to myself. With tremendous effort, I would pull myself up each day in order to function in the world.
I kept praying and asking for help and insights. I started attending even more healing sessions, tried various methods and read books on positive psychology. I also applied energy healing techniques on myself.
Over a number of such episodes, I began to see that complete self-love healing is not going to take place overnight. It will be ridiculous to expect an instant transformation especially if I had been directing anger and resentment inwards for years or even over lifetimes.
I had issues with wanting things and myself to be perfect. My problem was that even though I was experiencing vibrational shifts with the inner healing work that I had done, I was also hoping that my problems would completely disappear. Metaphorically, I was expecting to be a bullet train on a fast track to enlightenment! My unrealistic expectations were sabotaging the process of transformation for me.
Admittedly, there are people who undergo the experience of a spiritual awakening overnight. Take Bryon Katie, Eckhart Tolle or Neale Donald Walsch, for instance. After their spiritual awakening, they went on to becoming transformational leaders.
Clearly, this was not the case for me.
Introduction to Self-Love Healing Program
I guess what I am hoping to share is that my self-love journey has not been pretty. I have cried buckets, gone on my knees, yelled four-letter words and walked the halls of despair a number of times.
So here is the ultimate confession: *gulp* I still go through episodes of self-criticism, self-doubt and self-rejection every now and then!!
However, what is great is that I have come a long way since having a toxic relationship with the self.
I would not have gotten this far….without going through all my own experiences.
I learned about picking myself up over and over again.
I learned about restoring myself back to health.
I learned about shifting myself back into alignment with divine love.
I learned about loving myself, despite being aware of all my imperfections at the same time.
I am now able to laugh at my idiosyncrasies, caring less about what other people would think of me.
And finally, I have become more aware of what a person with self-love difficulties is going through.
It is how I have been able to tune into a person’s energy to facilitate healing……
and…..why I have been able to write my book, Self-Love Secrets, in a beat……and drawing on my experiences further to now creating a Self-Love Healing Program, after discovering what has helped.
If you would like to hear more about my new Program, listen to the recorded audio that I have for you.
Love and abundance always,
Share About Your Journey
Would you like to make a confession too?
How is your self-love journey like? Has it been smooth? What is your story so far?