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7 Tips To Surviving Tough Times

by Evelyn on March 28, 2008

It takes a lot of faith to believe what seems impossible, when things are going rough. From your perspective, you may believe that things are already so bad that they cannot get worse. What unbelievable bad luck, you say. You feel like banging your head against the wall, in frustration and despair. Perhaps, it may be due to a sequence of bad experiences that you have or if you are born with some physical challenges. Somehow, your life just seems a lot more difficult than others.

Well, I’d like to dedicate this post to those of you, who are going through a challenging period right now and who need a little support. I’ve often been through these episodes myself and what better way, from having pulled myself through countless times, than to share what I’ve learnt on my blog?

1. Stop The Victim Mentality

It’s really a waste of time, thinking “why me”. I’ve wasted enough brain bytes, going over this question like a mantra and yet, this questioning has not helped me one bit. So my first suggestion is to stop the victim mentality.


 

When you ask yourself “why me”, you are intending to say that you do not deserve what life has handed out to you. However, from what we know from the Law of Attraction or metaphysics, you cannot be a true victim because you have attracted a negative outcome into your physical reality somehow.

Fortunately, thoughts can be changed, to effect new changes. As you become more positive in your thoughts, you are sending out energy vibrations that match more desirable outcomes. The Universe responds by delivering what you have intended to you.

“Humans think they are asking with their words, or even with their action, and sometimes you are, but the Universe is not responding to your words or your action. The Universe is responding to your vibrational calling.”— Teachings from Abraham by Esther and Jerry Hicks

2. Trash The Worry

Worrying does not get you anywhere. I know it is easier said than done. It is human nature to worry. But the more you train your mind to be in a state of peace and calm, the less likely it will bring itself on a downward spiral.

Here is an exercise that you can do. Imagine in your mind the worries that you are having, each written on a seperate piece of paper. Then, visualize rolling the piece of paper and trashing them one-by-one.

Contemplate on this practical advice……

“A difficult situation can be handled in two ways: We can either do something to change it or face it. If we can do something, then why worry and get upset over it – just change it. If there is nothing we can do, again, why worry and get upset over it? Things will not get better with anger and worry.” —- Shantideva

3. Conquer The Fear

Undoubtedly you will need to have courage when you are faced with fear. Fear grips you when you are thrust into the unknown. You lose all sense of security when things are in the rough and you are not sure in which way, the future will unfold. In your moment of desperation, you are willing to grasp at the weakest straw even though it feels as if you are already drowning.

Yet, if you stop struggling and calm down, the answer on how to stay afloat may just appear before you. It is harder for such an answer to come, if your mind is on “how not to drown” rather than “how do I survive”.

You conquer the fear by framing your mind in the positive. Let go of the fear and tell yourself “I can and I shall”.

4. Perceive Problems Appropriately

It is possible that you magnify your problems from what they truly are. When you lose someone, you feel that you can never be happy again. When you feel that your work goes unrecognised, life sucks. When you face bankruptcy, you think that you can never pick yourself up again. And you choose to carry all that hurt, pain or emotional baggage around.
It will help to remind yourself that nothing is permanent. All things will one day come to an end. Including bad episodes. However, the longer you stay stuck in your level of pain, the worse it can be for you. Just remember about what the Law of Attraction says.

It’s all in the mind. How you face up to your problems makes a world of difference. It may also be that you are always pointing your finger outwards rather than at yourself.

“It’s always someone else’s fault!” you say.

Really?

It is important to know that you have as much to play in how things are turning out. Your consciousness is likely to have attracted a negative outcome because you’ve been exuding negative energy all along.

5. Ask Yourself If A Major Life Lesson Awaits

We all know that life is a continuous journey of ups and downs. Unfortunately, things can get a lot worse before they get better.

It is possible that from all the pain that you are going through now, a lesson about life awaits. Allow me to let you in on my secret from going through so many dramatic episodes previously: if I failed to learn my lesson the last time around; by life’s design, I find that I’m made to go through over and over again. Until I saw the light.

If you examine your history, you cannot help but repeat it! Law of Attraction says it is so: “Whatever I am looking at, I am including in my vibration.” — Teachings from Abraham by Esther and Jerry Hicks

So instead of “why me”, perhaps you should be asking yourself if there is some key lesson that you have missed out on and are expected to learn.

6. Practice Faith

It may be hard to have faith that you can overcome your problems, whilst you are in the thick of it. Yet, do be reminded that we all go through valleys and peaks in our lives. Think back about the last time when you went through a rough period. Did you not waste much time and mental energy brooding over your problems? With the elapse of time, you may even forget why you got so wound up in the first place.

Ask the Universe on a better state of affairs to what you are experiencing now. If you are on a journey because you are being fuelled by a vision, have faith that what you aspire to bring about will come true. Some visualization will help. Constantly, keep the big picture in your mind.

As each difficulty comes along, deal with it. Trust that with each surely step you take, a dim of light – in the darkest and deepest shadows of the forest – will shine through, casting itself on your path. That dim of light soon grows in strength, giving way to a strong burst of warm loving sunshine.

“Faith is like electricity. You can’t see it, but you can see the light.” — Unknown

7. Brave On With A Smile

Perhaps this is the most difficult of all. Yet, we often read of accounts of how successful people have triumphed over their failures, not just through sheer grit but also demonstrated a surprising amount of goodwill and light, even during the worst of times.

When you are going through difficulties, it is easy to put on a sulky face and to show it to the world. Perhaps what would help is to remind yourself that you are not the only one with problems. Remember this saying “I complained that I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.”

When you can set aside your ego and remove yourself from making much ado about your problems, then it is possible to even rejoice in the little comfort that you still have in your life.

“It’s easy enough to be pleasant;
When life flows like a song.
But the man worthwhile,
Is the one who can smile,
When things go dead wrong.
For the test of the heart is trouble,
And it always comes with the years,
And the smile that is worth
The praises of earth,
Is the smile that shines through the tears.
—- Ella Wilcox

If you’ve enjoyed these tips, I’d appreciate if you can help me by bookmarking this post.

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{ 36 comments }

Lorraine Cohen March 28, 2008 at 11:03 am

Fabulous post Evelyn

You echo what I believe, experience and share with folks.

We have more power than we realize in every experience – either to see the situation as a problem to bemoan as a victim or to find the gifts in the experience that invites us to evolve and awaken to the amazing creators we are.

Create a wonderfull day! :D

Lorraine
http://www.powerfull-living.biz

Brennan Kingsland March 28, 2008 at 11:30 am

Yes, Evelyn,
One of the benefits of age and enduring painful life experiences is that you can look back at those experiences and learn from them. It is exhilarating to realize that so many things you thought were JUST TERRIBLE, when viewed in retrospect, turn out to have been turning points to a better and happier life.

Jessica March 28, 2008 at 9:07 pm

Thank you, I needed that.

Jonathan Mead March 28, 2008 at 9:57 pm

Conquering your fears and learning not to play the victim.. very valuable advice.

I’d add to stop playing the judge as well. Him and the victim work closely together. ;)

Evelyn March 29, 2008 at 12:12 am

Hello Jon, Brennan, Lorraine, thanks for your feedback. I’ve played myself to be the victim for the longest time that I just got tired of telling myself my own sob story. It took a long time for me to realise I need to set aside my ego; but once I got started, I’ve never felt better and more empowered.

Hey Jessica, glad my article helped! Let me know if I can be of further assistance to you!

Love and light,
Evelyn

Darlene Norris March 29, 2008 at 8:38 am

I’ve noticed in my life that when the seemingly worst possible thing has happened, it was an opening into something great. I’ve been hearing a lot lately about turning your problems into opportunities rather than just sitting around complaining and giving up. This post goes right along with that idea.

Darlene

Dr James D Swann March 29, 2008 at 5:37 pm

My dear Evelyn,
Just delightful and full of the stuff we need to succeed in life. What a transformation has happened in you of late. You are just a go getter and go better. You amaze me, dear.
One fine article indeed. Keep up the good work.
James

Mark McCullagh March 29, 2008 at 8:44 pm

All 7 points I find very compelling and essential. I’ll only comment on facing fears – confront them head on!

I have had this experience and try to continue to practice this and it works. Fear is usually an irrational perception and when you face a fear again and again, you not only overcome it, you may learn to actually embrace what you once feared.

Evelyn March 30, 2008 at 2:56 am

Hello Darlene, what a postive way way of looking at things. Hopefully, when things are in the dark for me, I can remember about what you say and look to see if I can turn adversity into opportunities.

Dr James, I can’t say that I have managed to successfully apply all 7 points. But it is my practice now to do my best in pulling myself together when the going gets rough.

Hi Mark, being of a timid nature all my life, I’ve lived with various fears constantly. In my own experience, it is not only about facing fear but learning to let go of it. For instance, I used to have the fear of water and venturing into the unknown. So I took up diving to conquer this fear. Despite going underwater over and over again, I continued to experience fear. I never quite overcome my fear completely, despite staring into it in each dive. I’ve not dived in a long time. Now when I reflect upon it, I realise what would have helped is if I have had stopped struggling and not held on so tightly. Letting go of my fear of death, not just through a diving trip but also ordinarily, is something that I’m still learning to this day.

With much thanks and appreciation to your sharing and inputs,
Evelyn

Mary Jaksch @ GoodlifeZen April 6, 2008 at 6:08 am

Great article, Evelyn! Getting over a life crisis is not so easy because our thoughts tend to spiral down and drag us into a dark place. To reverse this trend takes hard work.

Max Norman April 15, 2008 at 1:01 am

Great post!

You have touched on many of the lesser known points on this subject. Personally, I enjoyed #5, simply because that learning a lesson from a situation will keep you out of so many in the future.

Max Norman
http://www.askthekid.org

Breian Malupa - Breian.com May 2, 2008 at 6:10 am

These 7 points are very important. It is inevitable and we will find ourselves in rough seas. When we find ourselves in rough and very tough circumstances, we get shaken. We lose composure, and losing composure will affect our self control, our focus and direction.
It is very important for us to be grounded during tough and difficult circumstances. These 7 points will help us to be grounded and hold composure, it will help us to stay focus and keep moving in the right direction.
Excellent post :)

Evelyn May 2, 2008 at 7:54 am

Thanks, Mary and Max for your lovely feedback.

Thanks, Brein, too for agreeing to the points in this article!

Love and light,
Evelyn

Anna May 3, 2008 at 4:51 pm

Hi Evelyn! Just stumbled upon this your wonderful post. Agree with you, especially with your last point on smiling. Maintaining a positive mood always makes difference.

Thanks!
Anna

Tamsin May 5, 2008 at 9:54 am

Hi Evelyn also just ‘stumbled’ on your post, which I thought was great. I especially agree with your point about trash the worry, and would add that I strongly believe that people get what they focus on. So, if one focusses on how tough times are, then invariably times will feel just that … tough. So often it’s easy to slip into the belief that we can’t change things when we’re feeling low, but by focussing on something else in that moment, which does make us feel good, it can help us to feel better more quickly. So, I’d add point no 8, you get what you focus on, so focus on things that do make you happy as much as possible.

Thanks Evelyn, I’m sure your post has helped many people.

Tamsin

Rudolph May 12, 2008 at 1:41 am

Nice one;
instead of book mark;
i posted it on my blog with link back to your original post;

http://supari.org/7-tips/

If you have concerns; let me know;
i will delete the post.

Regards.

jenn June 26, 2008 at 12:51 pm

Thanks dear! needed to read that!!!

Juhi June 27, 2008 at 11:56 am

I stumbled upon your article today while googling for self-improvement tips.

I am thankful to you for writing this as this has given me hope. I am dealing with a tough situation at work and this has me in the dumps. I am someone who lets their work/professional life define who they are.

After reading you article, i am trying to be more positive and less negative. For the last few weeks, the thoughts in my head have been negative and self-demeaning. I view the lack of success at my job as a personal failure.

Going forward, i will focus on being positive and thinking of the solution to the problem rather than the reasons.

Regards,
Juhi

Jvg July 13, 2008 at 9:01 pm

Evelyn,

Thanks for this wonderful article. We are going through a tough time right now, and I was (perhaps still am) in the “why us” mode. A few events have repeated over and over again in our lives. But your article has forced me to rethink, and now I am beginning to wonder “is there something that we ought to have learnt last time that we did not and these events have repeated themselves again”? Thanks very much for making me see a different perspective. Hopefully, I get the message this time!

Best wishes,

Jvg

Evelyn July 13, 2008 at 11:09 pm

@Juhi, Jenn and Tasmin,

Thanks for your stumbles. I did not realise how much help my article has provided. You have been most kind to provide a feedback.

@Jvg, oh yes…many of us have been guilty of the victim mentality at one point or another. It’s time to take responsibility. You can change your future through the thoughts that you think.

All the best,
Evelyn

Sue November 14, 2008 at 12:46 pm

Hi

In my experience with extreme emotional pain, sometimes there isn’t anything you can do but ride it out. But always keep in mind that it will END. And when it does you will feel so HAPPY. God bless.

brujita November 30, 2008 at 8:06 am

today, was a day when i needed this as a reminder! Thank you! this site is great!

raj hadgal April 13, 2009 at 6:11 pm

hi
J
B
L…
Though i have read lot before. this one made me to reinforce and put me on track…..
cant thank uinstead love you people

Teresa April 13, 2009 at 6:55 pm

I couldn’t agree more. We all face hard times sometime in our life. The only ways to deal with them is:

1. To allow ourself the time to get through it. It is true that time is a great healer.
2. Recognise that everything is temporary and things will change for the better.
3. Regain control by taking some positive action to change what we don’t like in our life.

Although I write a blog about how to be happy & get the most out of life, my life is far from perfect!

I do the job I do because I have to (at the moment), but I focus on the advantages of the job (I have a roof over my head and I’m able to save quite a lot each month) and I’m grateful to have a job in this economic climate with so many losing theirs.

There are lots of things I could be down about, but I focus on the positives. When negative thoughts do come to mind (and let’s face it we all have them from time to time) I remind myself of the one ultimate things I am grateful for. What is it?

As a cancer survivor I can tell you in 3 words: To Be Alive.

Great post Evelyn. Thanks!

Srinivas Rao May 27, 2009 at 12:29 pm

Wow, thanks for that. That was awesome. As a recent MBA grad looking for a job, think you’ve given me some good advice to put things in perspective, just have to remember to keep applying it.

Alain Goormaghtigh August 29, 2009 at 1:41 pm

Evelyn,

The aroma of each word and sound
Fills spaces inward and around
As an infinite projection
Of multiple expression
A therapy for the heart
Beating to a new start
Life is more than living
Love is more than feeling
Peace heals it all
Even the worst fall

These free verses to thank you for sharing such jewels from the heart,
helping and healing thousands struggling and lost in darkness and despair

Blessings to you for your presence

Alain

Evelyn August 29, 2009 at 8:47 pm

Thanks to all who continue to write positive comments on this post!!

Evelyn August 29, 2009 at 8:51 pm

Alain,

Oh my….the verses are so beautiful!! Did you write them yourself??

Yes, it is my hope to bring messages of light and hope to others. It is my desire to hold up the lamp, so that others can see more clearly how beautiful they are! Many have been kept in darkness for far too long!

Love to all! Light to all! Peace to all!
Evelyn

Loren Robinson December 9, 2009 at 3:07 am

Good article. Very good advice.

priya December 18, 2009 at 12:14 am

Thank you so much!!! God bless you :)

Moses White February 22, 2010 at 3:27 pm

Of a truth,your article is the best thrapy to a depressed soul.

outstanding May 7, 2010 at 9:09 pm

when you are talking about surviving in though time most people talk about the econmic Crises or recession but this is not the only tough tough we face in life there is alot more tough time in our life and the only thing we must do to face and over come time is to educate ourselves and don’t listen to the media be careful from the media most of us watch tv 3 to 4 hours in day and this is not the best way to feed our mind , you have to make sure we are getting accurate information to help us to make intelligent choices .
it’s really great post i really like this kind of article because will greatly effective our life in negative or postive way .
thanks for sharing this Evelyn
keep it up .

Teerex May 25, 2010 at 10:24 am

Hey Evelyn. Life is really tough for me right now though I’m just 20 this year. After reading this post I really did feel better in a way. I often wanna break down but all I can do is to cry in bed. Now that I’ve put my ego aside and to face the reality. We often complain why my life is like that but I believe for every bad luck we have a really good luck is just ahead of us. I really thank god that I have the chance to see this post. Thanks Evelyn.

SHAKEEL June 30, 2010 at 6:39 pm

Dear Sir,

I am feeling extremely satisfied by eyeing your fantastic and brain cum heart enriching tips to overcome fear in life. I shall be thankful to you for instilling self confidence in me which was disappeard from my body frame after being turned down by my love. Thank you once again.

Bamboo Lady September 9, 2010 at 1:33 pm

Thank you for the inspiring article. I am deeply grateful. Life is a gift and I try to embrace it.

Tanya September 13, 2010 at 8:30 am

Hi Evelyn,

I stumbled upon your blog while surfing – thank you for sharing your wisdom and inspiration – very comforting advice.

I’m sure I’ll be visiting again!

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